EMERYVILLE, CA—Warning him to calm down by the count of three, a local family reportedly dragged their screaming, sobbing father and husband away from the rake section at an area Home Depot on Thursday. “Robert J. Heinemann, I’ve had just about enough of your whining—you know good and well we didn’t come here to buy a…
I am that man and I am not ashamed.
Yeah. I almost swallowed the Onion on this one.
“I wasn’t that undignified, and haven’t they got anything better to report on?!”
I like rakes, and I need time to pick the right one…