There’s this guy in my neighbourhood who apparently I find very attractive 😂 I didn’t realize that until recently, I always avoided him until one day I had to talk to him and I turned red and started smiling like an idiot.
This happened twice and both times, when I got home, I started crying… not because of what happened, but it felt as if I was losing something??
All I know about this “reaction” is that this guy isn’t my usual type, I just find him physically attractive and when I get home I cry and think about those guys I actually felt a lot for (mostly platonically) and it hurts 🤕 wtf
And today I was almost telling myself to “stay on track”??? Like thinking about the others and thinking “that’s the life you want, that’s what would make you happy” and just wishing this didn’t have such an effect on me.
I see others saying this too: why do you need to “stay in your lane?”
Everyone and everything possible is possible for YOU. Perhaps you are crying in mourning for the feeling of not being able to consider alternatives to what you “allow” yourself?
Beautiful :) But when crying I cry for the other guys, this one just triggers it
Perhaps you secretly know you’ll end up with a guy much like this one, and are therefore crying for the others…
It’s starting to get trippy. But how can I possibly know that, what do you mean exactly? That I actually prefer him?
I myself have been ridiculously attracted to women who have the same energy as my mother, but it’s extremely bad for me because she was very abusive and that same energy is basically an indicator of mental illness.
Is it something like this? A part of you realizes this physical attraction is a path to suffering?