• Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It’s completely fine to deadname people in the case that you’re telling someone that a trans person goes by a new name. Otherwise you’re playing “Guess who’s trans!” for a painfully awkward five minutes while they list anecdotes about people that you weren’t actually present to witness.

      • EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 months ago

        Except that’s not at all what’s happening here. We’re not talking about somebody we know personally with their permission or anything, we’re talking about an actress who got into pornography after having an emotional video go viral many years ago. Her dead name has nothing to do with that, and if you had even left out the fact that she’s trans, most people probably could’ve figured it out if they even bothered to go check out the original video. Abd if they didn’t? It wouldn’t make a difference in their knowledge of the subject. They’d still know that a woman who had an emotional video go viral years ago later became a porn actress. All her dead name adds to this is a possibly paparazzi style invasion of her privacy.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          Chris Crocker might’ve been a recognizable name a while back when the video was made

          • njm1314@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            No fucking way that’s true. Nobody learns these people’s names. They were the Leave Britney Alone guy. That’s all the name they were known by. Anyone who says they bothered to learn their name is a liar.

            • omarfw@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              I was in highschool when that video went viral. Everyone knew the name Chris cocker.

              • njm1314@lemmy.world
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                2 months ago

                Man I already told you I was going to assume you were a liar. The fact that you are responding to a 11 day old thread kind of makes it a double

        • ABCDE@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          No it isn’t, because her old name is in the title. That is not what deadnaming is.

        • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Well yes, that’s why I referred to it as deadnaming. This is the one circumstance where its reasonable to do. Otherwise it leads to unwittingly deadnaming someone to others (or god forbid, to their face).

          • NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip
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            2 months ago

            The one circumstance where it is okay is when you want to deadname someone?

            The only interesting fact here is that someone transitioned into who they actually are.

            • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              Alright, there’s no way we’re actually opposed people here. How do you tell others that someone has transitioned?

              • NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip
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                2 months ago

                I don’t because it is not my place to tell.

                That said: porn star Cara Cunningham was the star of the leave Britney alone meme.

                • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  Dude what are you talking about, yes it is. If they’re publicly out, and you’re not endangering them by doing so, and they havent asked you not to for some reason, it’s absolutely your place to let people know. You’re not stealing their thunder, you’re sparing them from being deadnamed/misgendered by everyone in their social circles and them having to explain it over and over and over. I get where you’re coming from, but have you had any close friends come out publicly as trans? It’s fucking scary and emotionally exhausting, so anything you can do to take some of the load off is incredibly important.

                  • NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip
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                    2 months ago

                    I was going to go into explaining how there is a very big difference between “Hey, remember Steve? We hung out together a few years back? She is Susie now” and “Hey this random person none of us ever met used to be a dude!”

                    But you have made it abundantly clear that you think there is an obligation for people to warn people about who is trans and who isn’t. So… go fuck yourself, transphobe.

      • Oascany@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        “It’s completely fine” by who? Most trans people do not want to be referred to by their deadname - especially in the way this title phrases it. Most people wouldn’t know the deadname anyway, everyone just knew her from the “Leave Britney alone” video. To clarify, the title could easily have mentioned she’s trans but to just throw out the deadname especially phrased in such a way is just ignorant and harmful, regardless of intent.

    • tabarnaski@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Deadnaming her would be calling her “Chris Cocker” and ignoring her new name. They are just saying what her identity was before she became Cara Cunningham. Makes it easier to understand the story.