I have a problem with establishing boundaries.
I’m a private person. That’s very often misinterpreted as being arrogant and feeling superior to others. I’m not, I just wish to be left alone, but people still feel disrespected and it’s tiring to be constantly explaining yourself. And I don’t understand why I have to explain myself constantly.
This very emotional and thankful patient wanted a picture with me and I stupidly agreed. He also wanted my phone number (I gave him a false one) to invite me to have lunch, as he celebrated his 70th birthday. I don’t believe it was sexual or romantic, because he is married, his wife was there when he extended the invitation and took the picture and he also wanted to invite the whole unit.
I acted like this because it was the easiest way to get him to leave the hospital and free the room but also because I didn’t want to cause a scene.
What could I do next time?
“ I appreciate the invitation but I have a policy to not meet patients outside of work or take photos with patients.”
(And, probably, so does the hospital, at least for the meeting people outside work,)
If they need more, a “it makes me feel uncomfortable.” And walk away before they make it weird.
Whatever you do, don’t blame policies at the hospital because other staff probably are okay with it, and/or they’ll bitch at management who will respond with a “that’s not true….” Or something.
Once you’re outed it’s just gonna get weirder.
Maybe there is such a policy. Doesn’t hurt to check.
It’s shocking how many people are suggesting lying in a way that’s so easy to get caught. “Weird I just took a picture with the nurses and the other doctor.” That’s going to make it even more awkward.
If I were you, just suck it up and take the picture, and then say you dont hand out your private number to patients and like to keep the relationships professional. This is presumably honest.
Not taking the picture is really spitting in the guys face. It’s so quick and it goes a long way to making them feel good, and feel good about you. It’s one of those things I would explain to my kid that you just do it and get it out of the way even if you don’t like it.
Not giving our your number is entirely reasonable, and I suspect is also honest.
If this only happens at work, then you can say, “Sorry, that’s against my department’s policy. We’ve had some incidents and my boss told us not to.”
Thank you, that’s very kind, but for professional ethics reasons I’ll have to decline your offer.
I think it’s also perfectly reasonable to say the truth instead, and replace “professional ethics” with “personal”.
If they are appreciative of you, and don’t truly want to do whatever it is that makes you the most comfortable or happy, they should be exposed to a learning opportunity.
If they get offended. Maybe they eventually figure out that, just maybe, you shouldn’t express gratitude with selfishness.
Anyways. That’s ny two cents. Say it as it is.
