Is it simply: involuntarily celibate, or does it come with a package?
To me, “incel” has always meant someone who’s simply just celibate against their will, but it feels like the term now also implies a specific worldview or even a subculture. Does identifying as an incel automatically come with those negative beliefs around gender and society, or should those two have separate terms? Has the definition changed?"
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It started off as people who are involuntarily celibate due to unfortunate circumstances. It ended up being co-opted by individuals incapable of self-reflection and self-improvement to understand that their celibacy is entirely based on their lack of hygiene and attitude towards women. They would rather blame the world for their problems instead of owning up to them and making positive changes in their lives.
Does identifying as an incel automatically come with those negative beliefs around gender and society, or should those two have separate terms?
Absolutely, yes. Incel culture is one of misogyny and sexism. People identifying as incels are typically the ones who blame women for not wanting to have sex with them while doing nothing to make women actually want to have sex with them.
My advice to you OP is stay far away from individuals and communities identifying as incel or pro-incel.
That makes sense. In my mind the definition never really evolved as I tend to take words literally and think of it more as a category, like “red heads” rather than as an ideological group. I guess that would technically make them a subgroup of incels.
I see where you’re coming from. Just keep in mind that the original intent of the group has been stolen a long time ago, something like 10 years ago at this point. At this point these people aren’t a sub-group of incels. They’ve completely co-opted the term and rebranded the incel term. Anyone who was originally incel for the right reasons has run off so far away from this term they might as well be in another planet. And I don’t blame them, who wants to be lumped into misogynistic assholes who fantasize about killing and raping women as well as underage girls simply because they think they’re entitled to sex?
The definition as “involuntary celibate” is mostly used by the community whence the word comes… 4channers. Everywhere else, it has come to refer to the ideology of those who came up with it. Basically, misogynists who blame society, and particularly feminism for allegedly creating a world where it’s harder for them to get laid, and harder still to get a subservient housewife.
It has always been the latter.
But the term itself implies the former
Maybe they should be called far-incels
You really won’t be able to take the word back, it’s been stained permanently. It’s maybe best not to focus on the lack of sex part and start focusing on yourself. People will notice. Working on yourself is attractive. People who never gave you a thought romantically might suddenly realize you’ve worked to improve yourself and look at you with fresh eyes.
