Infinite poop.

You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell.

The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can’t free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates.

The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier.

The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you’ve broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness.

The poop accelerates. Forever.

Huh interesting, it shows up as a gif when I send it as a text, guess I’ll have to upload gifs to a 3rd party website next time.

My bad.

Edit: Does this show as a gif for anyone else? I’m using sync and that just shows a static picture unless I click on it.

Jesus. Anything over 20c is too much for me. I can’t even fathom what 50c feels like and I hope I never have to experience that.

The leafs suck? Welcome honorary Canadian! Come join us on Tuesday to hopefully see the leafs choke yet again against Boston!

BTW, to trigger a good chunk of Canadian’s, just say you made a poutine but used kraft singles (aka American cheese) instead of cheese curds.

I hate myself for even typing that last part.

Add hamburger into the KD and then ketchup becomes acceptable, even encouraged IMO.

Great question!

No, the Sun’s diameter will expand greatly but it’s mass will remain mostly the same, if anything it’ll be ejecting significant amounts of stellar matter when it turns into a red giant and will be losing mass.

Mass is what dictates the gravity of a given object. If you replaced the sun with a black hole of the exact same mass, everything in the solar system would retain its exact same orbit outside of those few unfortunate objects that were very close to the sun (much closer than Mercury) when it got swapped out for a black hole of the same mass.

So even though the Sun will eventually swell up into a red giant and eat most, if not all of the inner planets, it’s gravity will remain the same despite its massively increased diameter, and its gravity will get weaker as the red giant ejects stellar matter over its relatively quick life. Eventually it’ll eject its outer layers, creating a new nebula thanks to the star ejecting all of its outer layers and leaving behind the dead core of a star called a white dwarf. These dead stars are often similar in size to the Earth but typically have a mass close to that of our sun.

Hey I like your username buddy it’s pretty cool

To add to this, the sun will expand into a red giant in approximately 5 billion years, which is likely to consume both Earth and the Moon. This will happen before the Moon is able to leave Earth’s orbit, so it’ll shrink in the sky but odds are it won’t leave the Earth’s orbit before both are destroyed by the expanding sun in the future.

On top of that, the sun is slowly getting hotter as it gets older, so in approximately 1 billion years, the sun will have gotten hot enough to render most, if not all of the Earth uninhabitable for life as we know it.

Space is fascinating.

That person is one of the few usernames I consistently recognize here on lemmy as well, consistently has high quality comments and great arguments. Definitely a great person to have here on lemmy, thanks Flyingsquid!

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I’m in northern Canada, we got about a week of 30C weather and I had a fan pointed at me 24/7 and took cold showers every few hours to stay sane. Crazy how everyone acclimates to different temperatures across the world.

A rare example of a legit amazing human being. Thank you for restoring some faith in humanity for me!

Completely agree. My dog is my one ray of sunshine in my shit life. I’ll share food with him on the streets if that’s what it comes to.

Thanks friend, I appreciate the sentiment and I wish the best for you as well!

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No. I drink every other day at least (not wasted, but a good buzz), I have no friends anymore cause they’ve all got familes and responsibilities, or they’ve left the frozen wasteland that is northern Canada. I’m 30 and I live with my mom and brother cause she works part time and couldn’t afford to live on her own, and I couldn’t afford to live on my own either even though I make $22 an hour, which also means no decent woman would consider coming anywhere near me. My mom is amazing but it fucking sucks being a 30 year old man and having a room right across from her.

My rent went from 1800 in 2017-2022 for a 3 bedroom to 3 fucking grand for a much worse 3 bedroom because we got renovicted from our old place. The new landlord is basically a slum lord, no doorknob on the downstairs bathroom, no heat in my room, no fan and mold growing in the upstairs bathroom, toilets that clog constantly, shit insolation in a city that can get as cold as - 40C during the dead of winter, no door at all on my brothers room, lots of garbage left in the backyard from the previous tenant that was supposed to be removed by the landlord within a week of moving in (now a year and a half later) and a shit local government that just a month ago gave subsidies to landlords as an apology for rent control being implemented.

On top of that it feels like the world is moving increasingly towards fucking people near the bottom of society like me more and more as I get older. I have basically no hope left. I work my ass off at every job I have, rarely it pays off with promotions and small raises, but I’ve yet to get a truly good increase that raises my standard of life significantly. I try my best, I truly do. One of the few things I can be proud of is that I’m consistently known as a great worker, but it’s a roll of the dice whether you’re gonna get a boss that values that or just tries to take advantage of your work ethic. Feels like no matter how hard I try, I can’t move forward. I get a better job with more money? Oh rent has massively gone up, groceries and gas have gone up, fucking everything has gone up in price. I get more money and every fucking greedy piece of shit has their hands out demanding more money for the essentials of life so I just languish in permenant fucking mediocrity.

I’ve gained 30 lbs over the last year due to drinking and depression, I built an awesome new pc last year but I barely use it for more than watching videos cause nothing gives me joy anymore. I used to at least be able to get some amount of joy out of playing games, but now nothing makes me happy. I literally wish I could get cancer so that I can die free of guilt. I’m not suicidal, I could never do that to my parents and brother. But every day I wish something would happen that takes me out of my miserable existence. I hate the world and I hate my pathetic fucking life.

Tbh whenever I see someone editing their comment to put “conditions” on people downvoting their trash opinion I automatically downvote. Whine or cry or try to put conditions on people downvoting you? Believe it or not, instant downvote.

Just finished the trilogy last week. Amazing books, a bit dry at times but overall a very enjoyable read about what the politics and technology might look like to terraform and colonize Mars.

Doesn’t that make your neck sore? I’ve used thin pillows all my life, whenever I use a pillow when travelling (hotel, someone else’s house etc) it’s ALWAYS to thick. I can’t imagine stacking two pillows on top of each other.