Now you can go to jail-jail.

“You’ve gone to the DEAD of the Class! Say hi to Howard Hesseman for me!”
(audience hoots and cheers wildly)

Peak Trump would be him saying “she’s not my type,” as he’s raping her.

Elementary, my dear Mr. Putin.

I think I blew up that KFC when I played Mercenaries on the Xbox…

Well, no. I’m more a Dork Web (federated) kind of guy than a Dark Web (holy shit this will get me put in jail) kind of guy.

I’m genuinely puzzled that this is a thing. Some people enjoy sadism, but this is a very specific flavor, one that would be kind of difficult and expensive to maintain. Hey, let’s go get a monkey to torture. Who says that? Who wants that?

Global monkey torture network! Try saying that five times fast!

Also, I’m a little surprised that monkey torture is popular enough to have its own network of fans. Where are they gonna hold Global Monkey Torturecon?

Who ever thought a Confederate would be capable of such cruelty? No, sorry, couldn’t keep a straight face through that one.

He’ll have Nunavut!

Amazon’s no longer any good at shipping, and Google’s no longer any good at searching. What a terrible year to be a tech nerd.

Gee, boomers are being selfish! Who would have guessed?

Too busy getting our consciousnesses shocked by mass killings at supermarkets, I guess. By the way, nice work blinding that cyclops.

Well, that’s good news for once. Pump the goober full of sodium enditall; he won’t be missed.

Just Amazon Prime and Paramount Putz. I’d get rid of the former, but I’ve heard it’s tough to do. Also, I don’t subscribe to Amazon Prime for television specifically; that sub is for free shipping specifically. The streaming is just gravy… although with the upcoming advertising attached to shows, it’s more like diaper gravy.

Maybe they’ll fuck themselves over for a change.

So, “Crash the old order and creat a new society!” Sounds like Elevator Action II without the fun parts.

Accelerationist? Do I even want to know what that is?

The abortion “moderate,” ladies and gentlemen. A reminder that whatever he’s telling you to get elected is just honey. If he gets re-elected, he’ll do whatever the hell he wants, the voters be damned.

Trump’s dead, though, right? Yeah, I can live with that.

It’s less of a run and more of an awkward waddle.