Hey, when did you meet my family…?
Hey, when did you meet my family…?
Exactly!
Doo doo doo
Thank God it’s not a baby shark.
This presidential protection detail has been provided by the Uvalde Sheriff’s Dept.
Hey, as long as they’re of age, what a seal does in their free time is none of my concern.
Yes, but she didn’t 😉
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Scream her hands off.
A man walks into a bar and says “OUCH!”
If a threesome is with three people, and a foursome is with four, then i think i get why they call you handsome…
What’s long and brown and sticky?
A stick.
What’s brown, and rhymes with “Snoop?”
Dr. Dre.
Why does Snoop carry an umbrella?
For drizzle, m’nizzle.
How does Helen Keller know when she’s done wiping?
Taste test.
I’ve got tons of this shit for when we’ve got downtime at work.
“I’m a robot. I love robots. I have a robot vagina.”
I always read it as THAT fuckin’ guy…
I say that dictatorship part because don’t think for a second that the GOP is gonna just roll over and die. Expect hard-line challenges to vote counts in every single swing state.
I’ve been saying this since Sunday. We just blew up the Death Star, but the Empire is still a threat. The fight ain’t over, yet.
Even the children are hostile in your made-up world? Please, do us all a favor and forgo breeding.
Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in numerator.
“If you’re driving down the ocean on a jetski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse?!?”
I did this once… with my boss.
I was trying to respond to the gf and my fat fingers hit the wrong name in my texts. Didn’t notice until afterwards, and by then it was too late. I was never more glad to have someone pretend a thing had never happened.
THIS GUY’S USING INFERENCES! BREAK HIS LEGS!