Elon Musk did not pay anyone.

Gimme da cash!

“The Good Lord said he could heal this boy for just FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!1!”

“What is a… what the- what the fuck was THAT?! That shit is whack.”

“Try the all new Lite Maga! All the bigotry and hatred you’ve come to expect, with half the calories!”

“Oh Lord, they didn’t bring a sacrifice chile.”

Nope! It’s doesn’t even have to be human.

THIS GUY’S USING INFERENCES! BREAK HIS LEGS!

Hey, when did you meet my family…?

YOU made a claim, it’s on YOU to back it up.

Exactly!

Doo doo doo

Thank God it’s not a baby shark.

This presidential protection detail has been provided by the Uvalde Sheriff’s Dept.

The sound of screaming children has been removed.

Hey, as long as they’re of age, what a seal does in their free time is none of my concern.

Yes, but she didn’t 😉

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

Scream her hands off.

A man walks into a bar and says “OUCH!”

If a threesome is with three people, and a foursome is with four, then i think i get why they call you handsome…

What’s long and brown and sticky?

A stick.

What’s brown, and rhymes with “Snoop?”

Dr. Dre.

Why does Snoop carry an umbrella?

For drizzle, m’nizzle.

How does Helen Keller know when she’s done wiping?

Taste test.

I’ve got tons of this shit for when we’ve got downtime at work.

“I’m a robot. I love robots. I have a robot vagina.”