I work in procurement. That means I negotiate with suppliers all day, every day. I’m the one the team calls when they need something fixed, and want something better than using a big hammer or lighting everything on fire.

The absolute best tip was courtesy of my first boss in the field:

"Always be prepared to walk away and say ‘No, thank you’. "

You won’t look weak (except to the wrong people). Instead you’ll come across as empowered, that you know what you want, have no tolerance for games, but also can be trusted. Very few people like people who always say yes, no matter what anxiety says. In order to be here, it’s important to have options and choices you can accept. Be ready to jump rails if it looks like you won’t get your first choice. That’s how good negotiators in my field do it - they have several acceptable options.

It’s still not easy to do. It requires perseverance and flexibility. Allow yourself to practice in lower-risk situations.

The beep one of my monitors makes at power off (at the end of my workday) catalyzes my three cats into immediate action. They could be passed out or hidden, and ignore me when I walk by (I’ve tested this), but the moment they hear that “beep-chime” they materialize.

They know it means I’m available for cuddles and snacks. Confuses the hell out of them on the occasional weekend when I take a Zoom call for one of my volunteer gigs. I’ll also use it to summon them when one vanishes for too long and I need to make sure they didn’t get out.