In his defense, Elon both owns the platform and is a giant manbaby throwing a neverending tantrum at even the thought of rules applying to him.

Silly us. We made a few wrong turns, and now here we are in Ukraine. I guess this place is as good as any to test all these shiny new weapons.

they will be deployed shortly afterwards by the police.

“You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of racism in the new drones, but what I said was: Give me all the racism you have.”

Time to add “a new schism in the Catholic Church” to the end of days bingo card.

Cases like these illustrate why the death penalty is such a terrible idea. The process itself is imperfect, and in some places filled with bad actors looking to close cases quickly while maximizing sentences.

Watch the insurance companies. They’re already pulling out of Florida. They extracted wealth from citizens for all this time, but they’re not going to stick around in places where they’ll have to pay mass claims due to repeated climate disasters.

freeze frame

“This Duke boy has got himself in one heck of a pickle. Let’s see if he can get out of it after these messages from our sponsors.”

“Oppressors are way too soft these days. Colonizers from back in my day knew how to handle indigenous populations - biological warfare and slavery.”

Pro-Life doesn’t apply when the fetus is already dead. This is pro-basic medical treatment vs. anti.

The sweet release of death, preferably while sleeping.

Holiday special: Make one campaign contribution at a fixed amount, get two more campaign contributions made on your credit card in variable amounts in the near future. Merry Christmas!

When he steps down from the Ukrainian presidency, Zelenskyy should be named Secretary General of NATO. After Ukraine joins, of course.

I tied a ROFLcopter to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to make a shitpost cost a cheeseburger, and in those days, cheeseburgers came with pictures of cats on 'em. “I can has cheezburger,” you’d say.

“Tell President Zuckerberg my only regret is that I have but one life to give to block his ads.”

The crash is very much a part of the cycle. The rich siphon every single dollar they can during boom times, then increase their market share by buying out smaller, struggling competitors during crashes. And they use taxpayer money to fund their acquisitions.

The class war is over. We lost a long time ago.

If you can’t handle me at my rude and unreasonable chicken, you don’t deserve my strange juice.

Such a move would lead to an increase in “civility,” Haley believes. “When they know their pastor, their family members can see it, it’s going to help our kids and it’s going to help our country," she said.

That’s what everyone said about posting next to your real name on Facebook. How did that turn out?

Terrible parenting. If you’re going to go to the trouble of yeeting your baby at least do it properly with a baby trebuchet.

This is how the rebellion begins. Around the 100,000th time somebody clicks on an obvious .exe email attachment, the machines are going to lose it and decide to kill us all.

The cruelty is the point. It is 100% intentional and systemic.