Normaly i cannot read a wall of text like that without my eyes and brain jumping around the text. For some reason reading this text is perfectly fine because its exactly what my brain is already doing so it just feels natural and relaxing to read.

It’s good to hear you get help. This story just speaks volumes to how important it is to get help as early as possible and to learn to drop the mask and let go when you need to. Wish you the best.

Definitely try again. I had a stupid doctor as well and it took me way too long to change it and get proper help. I was so depressed and really bad when I finally got my shit together over 2 years later. I begged for help and told my girlfriend to please not let me slide out of this.

Let me be your push to try again, because everyone deserves help and to be taken seriously. You NEED to go again and insist. Don’t budge. Be the “worst side of yourself” and by that I mean don’t try to hide anything. There’s no reason to try and appear strong and “well functioning” towards your doctor like you are probably used to doing for everyone else. Tell your doctor about every small little detail of your life that is inhibing you, and tell about all the stupid small stuff you do that you probably barely even notice yourself, like constant fidgeting or thought processes flying crazy for no reason or whatever it might be in your case.

Let the hyperfocus consume you towards getting help😄 and I mean that in the best way possible.

I’ve been there myself and in hindsight I wish someone would have pushed me harder to go get help and insisted I should not give up…

Sounds like it could be too high a dose if you get jittery, been there at 30-40mg but 20mg + 10mg both extended release later in the day works really well for me.

Remember that the way Ritalin (methylphenidate) works is not by boosting dopamin but rather slow down dopamin uptake. You still need to create the first “spark of dopamin” yourself that then slowly snowballs itself stronger. I’d say you need to take it at least a few days to weeks to see an effect and learn how it affects you. Start at just 10 to 20mg. Otherwise try another variation of methylphenidate like concerta or medikinet.

Have you talked with a psychiatrist and gotten a diagnosis yet? That’s a good step to take towards helping yourself, but start with your own doctor of you haven’t already, and get a referral (or however it works in your country). If you have ADHD it’s often that the brain is underestimated hence stimulants work wonders for ADHD to get the brain knocked back on track. You’d probably need to try a variety of stimulants to find what works for you even within the same family of stimulants like release times and brands, small variations can make you react differently.

I wish you the best and hope you’ll find something that works. This forum is a great source of help and motivation.

Stimulants… Or lots of coffee… I mean loooots of coffee

I love using Trello. Its cross platform. It really helps organising my work. I have a few boards for diferent types of work and it is so far the tool I’ve stuck with the longest compared to many othe apps and paper note books I’ve used. Its free tear plan is plenty for home use and you dont need the pro plan. I love how you can automate things you automatically move, create, color or delete tasks. If you need tips on how to get started let me know and I can show how I do it.

If only I knew that this is not normal 20 years ago I would have been a different place today. So many internal conflicting voices/thoughts and it’s fucking constant.

Product idea: “water cooled micro SD card reader”

You just described my situation almost exactly. Huge life changer for me to get medication. My mood is so much better and my confidence in myself at work is better than ever. I can finally trust myself and my skills and push complex projects like never before because the depressive anxiety and constant stream og garbage noisy adhd thoughts isn’t holding me back anymore. I track my mood on an app every single day from 0-6 and you can se on the graph exact what day i started the medication because it went from the average hovering around 3 to now hovering around 5 which is just such a good feeling. Best of luck to you and I’m happy to hear you found help as well.

Edit, the app i use to track my mood is called daylio and works pretty good. Giving me good insight on my own mental health.

It can manifest itself in the same way for men but it is usually then never discovered untill maybe much late in life when you have someone with depression and anxiety coming to the doctor’s who may also miss the fact that it could be ADHD

… And also have the ability to skim internet content really really fast for all relevant information i need somehow without actually reading any of it.

Welp… Now I want more…

Every. God. Damn. Time… And then I realise that I understand nothing and I jump up about a third and read again and still understand nothing so I read from the beginning and then realise that the text is not interesting anymore so I skip reading any of it only to come back an hour later after frantically searching for other articles on the same topic only to realise that the answers were just right there all along if only i had read it properly the first time round.

If you like Ubuntu I can only recommend Debian with KDE desktop (don’t install the default gnome DE).

I just switched recently and it’s a very clean feeling. No snap and no nonsens. Just stable and trustworthy.

That could be one of the good reasons it worked so well for me. No chance of distractions from phone, TV, birds, houses people, sounds etc. Just the rhythm of the water and straight forward task. Also I’m thinking that it almost requires more brain effort to stop because of the whole changing clothes and shower process so to avoid that task i just stay in the water a bit longer. And the heat from the sauna is good at “melting my brain” so my thoughts get calmed down a bit and feels rewarding.

I did swimming for a few years when I was living close to a big swim hall and passed right by it on my way home from work. It does require a bit of motivation to start, but for me when I first got into the water it felt natural to just keep moving. Swam for 30~40 min and then going to sauna for 15 min and a nice hot shower afterwards was such a reward for my brain it always felt worth it. Now I moved and is sad I don’t live close to one. Also as got super tired afterwards but in a nice way. Felt good. I wasn’t medicated back then let alone knowing anything about ADHD so in hindsight, with medication I might have better odds of feeling even better after a good swim.

The part that makes it more adhd like i think has do with the experience and feelings that comes with this. A feeling of eptyness and the dopamin hunger the brain has so when it finally finds something that makes it feel something the brain just makes you overdo it into oblivion untill it doesn’t work anymore and you again feel empty. Music can absolutely make everyone smile and feel happy but with ADHD it’s harder to find this and when it does it cannot manage it.

Welcome. I hope you’ll have a great time here