You can tell this is from The Onion, because their sick relationship probably never soured.

I’ve got about a thousand of those bad boys on the right! Mint condition, although they’ve been unboxed.

Next do lifted pickup trucks please!

Reminded me of this classic Onion bit

The troposphere?

Taking a break from blasting civilians I see?

Neither. I go into the woods to unplug.

They’re hiding the more accurate term, “genocide supporters”.

Imagine the options we would have if we instead subsidized plant-based alternatives and the research to get us away from meat and dairy. There’s no reason for continuing the cruelty and wasting natural resources like we do when we know better.

SOH-CAH-TOA , mothafucka’!