I think the underlying sentiment of the finance gurus in this scenario is not “don’t help your family” but rather “you need to put your own oxygen mask on first before attempting to help those around you.”
If your financial house isn’t in order, helping someone out of their hole first only hurts your cause. (If you only look at finances in isolation and ignore significant relationships…)
Dave Ramsey got famous for teaching an educational series and books focused on getting financially illiterate folks out of debt and onto a path of relative financial security using his “baby steps.” While not bad advice per se, he’s not regarded as an expert if you are already able to self regulate your finances. It gives folks a decent starting point and some reasonable first principles, but he should not be considered to be the gospel of financial advice.