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For your phone use “newpipe”.
For privacy on your computer use YouTube in a different browser than your main browser without logging in. For example I use brave with an ad blocker just to watch YouTube on my computer and then I go back to my main browser for my daily usage for anything that’s not a Google service/website
Personally I’d be way more concerned with using OEM Android in the West than using wechat anywhere but if it’s really an issue for you then I’d say insist on trying session or signal… One of those are probably your best options if you’re worried about being spied on…
If she’s unwilling to try them or doesn’t like them then I guess you have to settle for wechat or traditional SMS (although without RCS I find SMS to be a trip to a previous decade lol)