When I’m arguing with others, what I really want - at least I like to think I really want - is for us all round to have the best chance at knowing the truth.

One of the best things I’ve learnt is to understand why a person holds their argument, both emotionally and logically/literally. If I understand, then I can affirm the parts we do agree on, the common foundations that help them see I’m not against them, and that give my perception of the truth/answer a chance of having meaning to them too.

It’s uphill work, and often clouded by the fact that deep down I don’t want to be wrong and that makes me ‘fight’ for myself without realising it myself. It also means sometimes I have to swallow my pride about something that’s “obviously right” and “all sensible people know,” and accept I don’t actually have the evidence to show fairly to the other person.

But I find it’s worth it.