OP has discovered Tapirs exist.
Fun fact: tapir before defrag
Defragged cows. System files cannot be moved.
If they stand close enough and you scan them with a barcode scanner, they show up in the system as beef, but for only $0.21/per pound.
Pro tip: Defragmenting only works on spinning drives because it puts the data nearer to the spindle so seek times are shorter. Solid-state drives wear out faster if you defragment them, since every write involves a little bit of damage.
I was about to throw hands, but then I learned something new about how SSDs store data in pre-argument research. My poor SSDs. I’ve been killing them.
No you didn‘t. All somewhat current operating systems do not defrag SSDs, they just run TRIM and it does not kill them.
EXT4 watching NTFS solve its fragment problem by upgrading to SSDs instead of upgrading their allocation algorithm.