I tried SimpleX but the VPN kill switch on my phone prevents syncing with my computer.
I use telegram primarily as a note taking app with sync features.
Occasionally I send files to friends, so having easy set up for tech illiterate would be great.
I think Matrix is the way to go because you can host your own server and be completely self hosting without a 3rd party involved.
To add to this, XMPP is much cheaper to host and offers basically the same features when it comes to what OP needs. I host Prosody and it uses so little resources you could probably get it running on the cheapest server you could find.
It’s probably 15 years ago I used XMPP the last time. Back then there were many compatibility problems between the apps and especially on the mobile phone with push notifications, etc. There were problems sending media and VOIP calls were non existent outside of the Google clients.
My guess is that some of those things improved but I have not heard anyone in my circles using it, especially since Matrix became a bit more popular, most of the Open Source projects on IRC also moved to Matrix.
Yeah, XMPP has changed a loooott since then.
XMPP’s main problems at the moment are clients, in my opinion. There’s 3 main clients for PC; one is 100% python (including frontend) and breaks semi-regularly, one does not officially support Windows and thus cuts out a large portion of the community + doesn’t have as many features as others, and one lacks features and looks extremely outdated. The state on iOS is even worse as well, and Android is fine but could be better.
If you’re considering XMPP again, I’d recommend waiting a few months for Prose https://prose.org/ to fully release, it looks like it’ll improve the experience a lot.