For the purpose of this question, the target age range is 20-30. Asking because I feel like I’m wasting my youth.
20 years ago I would have said invest regularly in an index fund.
Today I think you should learn all you can about DIY water filtration and growing edible mushrooms in caves.
Master your inner dialogue and emotions.
Practice speaking positively and rationally to yourself. Use affirmations, mantras, or visualisations for confidence, for forgiveness of yourself and others, relaxation, motivation.
If you ever feel like crying, it is important to cry hard and deep, and then it’s important to recover after with some kind of happy celebration, whether it’s playing or a treat, just something nice to help your body learn to get happy after being sad, angry, or scared.
Stop reaching for distractions when powerful emotions come on. Face the emotion. Study it with curiosity. Feel it fully. And comfort yourself positively until it passes.
Start down this road now. You don’t want to end up 40, done with school, done with your parents, done with your first couple of real jobs, and have no idea how to control yourself throughout the day.
Just want to back this one up: as someone rapidly approaching 40 who never loved himself, if anything absolutely loathes himself, repeating to yourself how absolutely horrible of a failure you are and how completely and utterly undeserving of anyone’s love you are daily will cement itself in your head as absolute fact.
I can no longer actually comprehend that I can do anything well. I’m either a complete failure, or if I did it literally anyone with 2 braincells can. I actually do not believe anyone who says otherwise, it has become an objective truth in my brain backed up by decades of “evidence.”
I’m sure there is much more evidence that this is not the case. You were probably raised in an environment with lots of shame and blame, I suspect, and so it’s hard to give yourself credit for the many, many things you have been successful.
Also, reframe your negative evidence. You’re not the same person anymore, for sure. Everyone makes mistakes and that’s how we learn, and it’s supposed to be uncomfortable. It also helps to remember that you are likely the only person thinking about this past evidence, and it’s okay for you to let it go, release it from your body and mind, and move on from it too.
When you feel yourself thinking negatively, go stand in front of a mirror, up on your toes, arms up high over head, bear your teeth, and growl at the mirror. You are a large and powerful predator, and seeing yourself as such will make it true.
Another good tip, when you’re feeling discomfort with memories, pause, and look around the room making sure to look over your shoulders, behind you on both sides. This is a trick to calm your brain down, take you out of fight or flight. You’re not in danger and the feelings of danger may have been helpful as a child, but you don’t need them anymore. You are a large and powerful predator now.
Take care of your body and keep it healthy. You have plenty of time to acquire habits helping that and slowly get rid of those damaging it - use that time before the issue is forced on you.
Wear. Sunscreen.
Protect your hearing. Listen to loud music in moderation and use earplugs in loud environments.
– Acquire new skills that will pay off in the long run.
– Build habits like exercising, eating well, and prioritizing mental health which can set you up for lifelong well-being.
– Build deep friendships, relationships, and connections. It’s the decade where many lifelong bonds are formed.
– Learn about budgeting, saving, investing, and managing credit. Financial literacy will greatly benefit you in the future.
– Failing in your twenties is part of growth. Embrace failure and learn from it.
– Focus on collecting experiences, such as concerts, festivals, road trips, or spontaneous adventures, rather than material goods. For memories, don’t collect shot glasses, you’ll regret it later.
– Learn to enjoy your own company, reflect on your goals, and become comfortable with solitude.
– Work on understanding your emotions, how to manage them, and how to empathize with others.
– Expand your mind with literature, self-development books, and works that challenge your worldview.
– Spend an extended period in another part of the world which can give you an appreciation for different cultures and provide life altering experiences.
– Learn how to prepare your own meals- a valuable life skill which can help you live healthier.
– Understand the importance of looking after your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
—Spend time thinking about where you want to go in life, and set both short-term and long-term goals.
Vote.
Learn to cook!
It’s great fun if you can get into it, it fulfills one of your basic needs in a much more fun and satisfying way, and it can be a good and attractive quality in a future partner and / or fun to do with them.
So many people I know who after college ended up living on crap. At best they only knew how to boil pasta. I got a cookbook on my favorite cuisine at the time and started trying all sorts of recipes when I first lived on my own. I tell my wife “If you can follow instructions you can cook” and she said “I hate following instructions.” lol
