“No one, and I mean this, truly I do, no one knows more about crypto than me. Ask anyone? My team of experts and I, and they’re smart people. They’ve got big brains, tremendous even, hyuuuuuuuuge. And they tested me right? Right? I took an IQ test and I got all five stars. That’s the greatest IQ of any sitting president in the history of America, and I didn’t even study. They asked me, “how come you’re so smart?” And I said, and I told this to them because by the way they’re the greatest brains we’ve ever assembled in our administration, the democrats wouldn’t know this because they’re terribly not smart and ignoramus— but I says, “it’s because I’ve been born into business and I led this country and created Billions and Billions of dollars. I can creat The Crypto!,” I told them. And they looked at me and said, “Sure whatever you say boss.” We have a tremendous administration, and part of, the EV batteries is because they’re heavy? We have heavy batteries, and really it comes down to immigration. Other countries are sending their criminals and derel— deruhlickies— you know what I mean. Gestures vaguely at head with accordion hands. And truthfully, we have to make this country great, because all the democrats and the radical left are being anti cryptic. Why? Is there a reason why they don’t promote cryptoast? Is it because they’re corrupt like all these immigrants that are causing crime and poisoning this country? Why is that? It seems like I’m the only one asking. And no one knows more about it than I do, and this is why we have to remember to take back this country and show up and show out on November Firth. Buy my Crypto, and apes hold strong and don’t sell until next year - trust me, I’m going to make out like a bandit— uh by winning the election!”
It’s pretty good, but you need to add in a mention of his uncle who went to MIT and how that means he has very good genes and knows all about this stuff.
“I have a really smart uncle who went to MIT. I consulted him and grew up with him, and he taught me many things that I carry today. And I’m the only one who can do this because no one knows more about this stuff than me. Skinny genes? You bet I’ve got them. I’ve got them locked up! Crypto? The immigrants are trying to eat our genes. But we’re looking into that you know. And some people asked me, “how come you got so smart, how come you know so much?” And I said, “I’ve got experts looking into this, could we bring MIT into the body? Almost like a smartening? Sounds interesting, it would be interesting for us to look into.” And after I said that they looked at me and said, “Mr. Trump, what the hell are you talking about?” And I smiled and pulled them into my handshake and laughed, saying, “pump my cryptic coin. It’s gonna be big, it’s gonna be better and stronger than Bitcoin. It’s gonna be the best that ever was, because I made MIT.”
Trump does not understand cryptocurrency.
I would love to hear him try to explain it.
“No one, and I mean this, truly I do, no one knows more about crypto than me. Ask anyone? My team of experts and I, and they’re smart people. They’ve got big brains, tremendous even, hyuuuuuuuuge. And they tested me right? Right? I took an IQ test and I got all five stars. That’s the greatest IQ of any sitting president in the history of America, and I didn’t even study. They asked me, “how come you’re so smart?” And I said, and I told this to them because by the way they’re the greatest brains we’ve ever assembled in our administration, the democrats wouldn’t know this because they’re terribly not smart and ignoramus— but I says, “it’s because I’ve been born into business and I led this country and created Billions and Billions of dollars. I can creat The Crypto!,” I told them. And they looked at me and said, “Sure whatever you say boss.” We have a tremendous administration, and part of, the EV batteries is because they’re heavy? We have heavy batteries, and really it comes down to immigration. Other countries are sending their criminals and derel— deruhlickies— you know what I mean. Gestures vaguely at head with accordion hands. And truthfully, we have to make this country great, because all the democrats and the radical left are being anti cryptic. Why? Is there a reason why they don’t promote cryptoast? Is it because they’re corrupt like all these immigrants that are causing crime and poisoning this country? Why is that? It seems like I’m the only one asking. And no one knows more about it than I do, and this is why we have to remember to take back this country and show up and show out on November Firth. Buy my Crypto, and apes hold strong and don’t sell until next year - trust me, I’m going to make out like a bandit— uh by winning the election!”
It’s pretty good, but you need to add in a mention of his uncle who went to MIT and how that means he has very good genes and knows all about this stuff.
Ugh how could I forget, blast it!
“I have a really smart uncle who went to MIT. I consulted him and grew up with him, and he taught me many things that I carry today. And I’m the only one who can do this because no one knows more about this stuff than me. Skinny genes? You bet I’ve got them. I’ve got them locked up! Crypto? The immigrants are trying to eat our genes. But we’re looking into that you know. And some people asked me, “how come you got so smart, how come you know so much?” And I said, “I’ve got experts looking into this, could we bring MIT into the body? Almost like a smartening? Sounds interesting, it would be interesting for us to look into.” And after I said that they looked at me and said, “Mr. Trump, what the hell are you talking about?” And I smiled and pulled them into my handshake and laughed, saying, “pump my cryptic coin. It’s gonna be big, it’s gonna be better and stronger than Bitcoin. It’s gonna be the best that ever was, because I made MIT.”
Too coherent.