I’m forced to because I make the most ridiculous spelling mistakes that completely change the comment.

“With” autocorrects to “without”.

“is” autocorrects to “isn’t”

Finally worked out why though - my right eye is impaired and I type exclusively with my right thumb (on mobile) so I’m not actually pressing the keys I think I am and I’m often hitting the “predict word” button instead of the space bar.

Looking forward to getting tactile keys on phones again!

My job somehow shifted from teaching IT to seniors to teaching SOSE to migrants

It has simultaneously been the most challenging, and most rewarding change.

I’m forced to edit myself down from my preferred 5000 word lecture to about 150 words with clip art.

It’s slowly helping me become less of a rambler.

Except for the “post restraint collapse”, I get home and I can’t hold it in anymore, cue the explosive verbal diarrhoea.

At work, fewer words are better.

But in my own personal life I feel that the fewer words I employ to convey the way I feel the less nuance I’m embedding in my message and what is communication if not the conveyance of the core message, failing to express myself clearly would be counter-productive so surely explaining in more detail is beneficial, hello? Are you still listening? Why have your eyes glazed over.

Call her doctor

I should have been more specific. Find a time when she’s not doing anything urgent, tell her it’s time to call the doctor, pick up her phone and dial the doctor, put them on speaker and put the phone down next to you while you body double your partner as they gone through the motions of locking in the appointment.

While on the phone your partner can also give third party authorisation. It’s the first thing I do when I meet a new provider, I give third party authorisation to my partner and mother so they can make appointments on my behalf (they can’t get results for me, but they can schedule things for me)

Call her doctor, make an appointment, save it in her calendar, remind her in the lead up, drive her there, get the referral. Walk her to the post box to send it off, sit next to her to phone the intake office to confirm they got the referral, set appointments on her phone for every 6 months to sit with her and call to check the cancellation list until you get an appointment. Drive her to that appointment.

If she has ADHD, the steps involved in getting a diagnosis are bigger than Mt Everest, she will need a neurotypical Sherpa.

Amen, I just need IRL adblock now please.

It causes genuine harm, I’m visually impaired and I’ve wandered into construction zones because advertising billboards are mounted near and “road work ahead” signs and everything is all just bright and bold.

I don’t know what’s official, everything is competing for my attention but I have very little capacity to dedicate my full attention to a visual sign. The end result is incredibly fatiguing, seeing a bright sign and straining to ensure I read it because it’s colours look important, nope, it’s an ad, that was a waste of energy, oh look another one with the same blurry colours and type setting it’s probably the same ad… Nope that one actually needed my attention, and now I’m somewhere I shouldn’t be and I’m in danger.

I’m also hard of hearing, but fortunately audio adber in the public isn’t as bad, but anyone who’s hearing impaired knows how fatiguing it is to try and filter through noise. It’s the exact same for visual impairment.

Yuuuup, I ended up getting a tattoo on my wrist that is essentially a personal period joke.

At one stage it was crucial for my survival, it was a kind of grounding token to snap me out of hormonal suicidal insanity when my PMS was at its worst. Something I’d see that would bluntly remind me “it’s not you, it’s your hormones, you don’t actually want this”

When I say the urge came and went zero to sixty back to zero in 30 seconds flat, sometimes that was an understatement. I really struggled because in addition to suicidal ideation during PMS, I had undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, which often gets worse with PMS thanks to the way oestrogen and progesterone play off each other.

Guess who’s got major impulsively issues. Guess what two symptoms really shouldn’t be combined.

I have zero desire to kill myself.

But my hormones seemed desperate to try and make me do it every month, especially as a teen.

It didn’t help that I had endometriosis and at 17 developed a uterine prolapse, on top of a rectal prolapse I’d had since I was 12. I was in agony when I was on my period, so sometimes the desire to make the pain stop overlapped with the suicidal ideation. That sucked. Hard to reason your way out of physical pain.

I’ve had a hysterectomy (from 17-24 my uterus just kept trying to make its own escape anyway despite attempts to sew it in place) and no longer suffer menstrual dysphoria because it turns out that was gender dysphoria not true PMDD. But I still get suicidal ideation as part of PMS, fortunately my ADHD is much better managed so now my tattoo is less a suicide detterant and just a reminder that I still have ovaries (sometimes I genuinely forget, and it takes me a few days to work out why I’m bloated and irritable and why I’m anxious about my sore boobs)

When I was 8, my 4 year old brother, 40 year old father, and 35 year old uncle whom I lived with all went to get screened for autism after my brother’s pre-school recommended it.

3/4 of us walked out with autism diagnoses.

I was given the official psychiatric assessment that I had “learned and developed autistic traits and mannerisms due to growing up in a household with no neurotypical influence” and the advice was that I would grow out of it once I made enough “normal” friends at school.

My brother started occupational therapy and other programs, and at each one, the practitioner would recommend to my dad that I join too to “help her brother feel safe and comfortable” and I would litteraly participate in the Autism therapy programs with my autistic brother.

Over my years at school, I picked up official diagnoses for dyscalculia and dyspraxia and that explained a few of the struggles I was having. The autism OT I was already doing covered support for my learning disabilities so nothing except the paperwork changed.

And sure enough, I made neurotypical friends at school, and a lot of the autistic-like traits I exhibited as a kid were no longer apparent in my behaviour.

I had a lot of mental health issues as a teenager and young adult. But what millennial isn’t depressed and anxious? I was growing up with 3 autistic men as a teenage girl, I rationalised that my dysfunctional emotional state was justified by my life circumstances. I was a dramatic teen.

Hearing and visual impairment, and other physical health issues with muscle tone, and struggles to heal due to poor proprioception that got worse in my 30s somehow lead to a re-assesment for autism as an adult.

Big fucking suprise. I’m autistic. Always have been.

Sometimes health professionals don’t get the full picture. They’re human.

My presentation is drastically different from my male family members, and I was parentified by my fathers autism from a young age - I remember being as young as 10 and my dad saw my ability to blend and socialise, he’d send me into stores or get me to make phone calls for him if he was having anxiety over it. This was not something that was discussed at the time of my first assessment.

My special interest was, and still is, anthropology. I maintain that loving the study of humanity and human culture means I’ve been able to intellectualise my way through social situations that neurotypicals feel their way through on instinct. I suspect I’ve done this from a young age, and that this further muddied the waters for that psychiatrist who assessed me when I was 12.

If I’d gotten reassessed in my later teens, or early 20s, I’m certain the result of the assessment would have been different then to, even with the same psychiatrist. You get 4 hours with a perfect stranger,just on some random day, and they’re supposed to make an assessment on your entire life?

We trusted their assessment, which is why I fumbled through life for 20+ years under the assumption I could learn my way out of feeling autistic.

Trust your healthcare professionals, but remember that they’re human, and second opinions are important, especially if you’re struggling with the treatment plan, or lack thereof, from the first doctor.

That’s alright, there will only be a handful of gen alpha even eligible to vote in a 2029 election, since they were born 2010-not even born yet

Having had a defecography this is very similar to the encouragement the radiologist gave me…

Maybe, I imagine it’s much harder to have an auto shut off timer when you also need to mechanically close the gas valves. But I think it could just be the price point, the one at my current unit is an electric built in, but it’s also just a reminder timer. Not sure what brand it is, all the paint on the front has long since worn away (it was installed in 1998 according to the REA) - so I also don’t quite know what temperature I’m cooking at. (when I moved in I put a probe thermometer in there and spent about 4 hours playing with the temperature dial and marking it with nail polish so I could at least have a vague idea of what temperature I was setting the oven to)

I’m awaiting assessment, but there’s a strong chance I have both autism and ADHD (my brother and father are both autistic, I was never assessed because it wasn’t as obvious growing up as a girl that I struggled with similar things, but it’s hard to know without an assessment because my ADHD was undiagnosed for so long so there’s a lot of overlapping symptoms from all the maladaptive coping mechanisms I’ve developed)

I know poor hunger signals are a big part of autism too, so maybe I’ve got a double whammy 🤷‍♀️

But it also sounds like your sensitive to hunger signals the same way I’m sensitive to fatigue/drowsiness signals, so it sounds like the same underlying interception issue, just two different outcomes of that attempt to listen to our bodies.

The last 3 places I’ve lived in have come with various models of this budget burner

https://www.chefappliances.com.au/freestanding/gas/cfg517wb/

The timer on my oven might as well just be glued on the front after the fact. It’s just a little clockwork twist timer with no connection to overall the mechanism of the oven at all.

I’ve never used an oven that automatically turns off after the timer buzzes. That sounds luxurious!

(and honestly, sounds like a super helpful OT tool/accommodation for me to be more independent/safe when cooking, so I know what to look for in a new oven… Not that I get a choice of oven as a renter, you get what you get)

My partner bought me one of those all in one cookers (instant pot style thing) because it will automatically shut off when it’s done cooking…

It has saved our relationship with our neighbours because I’m no longer setting off smoke alarms every other night.

Case in point, while typing this I just heard it beep and it scared the shit out of me because I completely forgot I put some squishy old pears (that were always destined to rot in my fridge) in it to stew when I got home… like 2 hours ago.

It feels like past me has left a suprise gift for present me, because I have stewed pears for dessert now!

So true, even if I realise I’m hungry and have enough impulse control to put something in the oven instead of ordering in or resorting to a protein shake for dinner, there is an 80% chance that I will both forget that I’m hungry and completely forget I haven’t eaten, in the time it takes the food to cook.

40 minutes later I’m sitting at my desk thinking “why have I got such a bad headache? why do I feel so groggy and cranky? Wait, do I need a nap!? I probably need a nap… Hang on, Why can I smell smoke?”

Why do I always assume I need a nap, even if I haven’t eaten all day!? I have to basically run through a flow chart to figure out why my head hurts. Food, water, full bladder, sleep, eye strain? Why do I feel bad? Who knows?

It’s a mystery only neurotypical people can solve!

I genuinely thought I was NT because I was comparing my quantity of interests to my brothers quantity of interests. He’s autistic, he has one interest.

Then I’d compare my quantity of interests to my best friends quantity of interests, he has ADHD hyperactive type, he has 700+ interests.

And I have like, 25 (and that’s if I split up larger interests into subcategories)

So I’m normal…except for all the sensory issues, executive dysfunction, impulsively, social difficulties, memory issues, communication deficits, learning difficulties, inability to establish routines, poor interoception resulting in medical complications from failing to attend to basic needs because I’m “in the zone” on something else.

Jokes on me, I have AuDHD.

Some of my “symptoms” cancel each other out in a way I’m very grateful for, and others conflict with each other in the most debilitating ways. That feeling when you are somehow catastrophically overstimulated and also your brain is tearing itself down the middle in desperate need for some dopamine through sensory input…

There are certain aspects of ADHD that would be disordered in any societal structure.

I have been so hyperfixated on something that I have been completely oblivious to my own body’s signals. As a result I have had accidents, developed UTIs, ended up in the ER with electrolyte imbalances, and dislocated several joints.

ADHD and joint Hypermobility are closely linked and while more studies are needed to understand exactly why and how, a lot of people with ADHD also meet criteria for Hypermobility spectrum disorders. In my case, I’ll be focused on a task and I won’t realise I’m clenching my jaw too firmly until the sudden sensation of undeniable pain sweeps over me and I realise my jaw has dislocated. Or ill be struggling with transitioning from a task to a rest, even though my knees are in agony, I can’t seem to force myself to stop.

ADHD is also inherently linked to circadian rhythm disorders, and while yes, delayed sleep phase disorder is only truly a disorder if you’re forcing yourself into a 9-5 lifestyle, ADHD sleep issues are more than just the shifting of the phases. A lot of people with ADHD will describe the sensation of sleep as being “passing out”, because of the way our brains (fail to) regulate dopamine, the way serotonin and melatonin is secreted to create drowsiness is also impacted.

I don’t get tired or sleepy, I get headaches and blurred vision and spasms in my back, and then I know that I can fall asleep if I lie down. I take sublingual melatonin tincture (I find it works better than tablets) and it’s such a strange phenomenon because about 15 minutes after I take it I feel my eyes are heavy and my body is calm and my mind ia slower, aka, sleepy. I don’t experience that without the help of supplements.

And sure there’s the argument that you “people with ADHD used to be on night watch duty”, but sleep deprived people make shit guards. If I’m not physically able to fall asleep until I’m “overtired”, and if being tired makes my ADHD symptoms worse, then I’m no good for anything.

It’s also not like hyperfixations are a super power (God I hate that way of framing things) I can’t choose when or why they happen. If I could, I’d be good at just job, instead, I’m loosing all sensation in my feet because I’m stuck in a fixation trying to pick at the skin on my thighs because I spotted one single ingrown hair while I had my pants down sitting on the toilet. Now it’s 40 minutes later, my alarm is going off in the other room, and I’m frozen, unable to transition away from this task.

ADHD is a spectrum, and for many people there are strengths, but it’s most definitely a disorder and for a lot of people, even if we lived in the most utopian ADHD friendly society, there are still internal issues to face.

For the record, I am unmedicated and always have been due to a heart condition, so maybe my view on the condition would change if I had different treatment and management options available to me.

Hmm, should I try getting it a fourth time? 😂

I managed to avoid it until Jan 2023 when I was hit the first time. Completely asymptomatic, I would have had no idea I was infected if it wasn’t for the fact I RAT/lat flow tested twice weekly because of my job.

Recovered fine, didn’t have any lingering symptoms.

Then in May I started getting a bit run down, my lymphnodes around my neck and jaw were really swollen and inflamed, and I was chronically congested, but not with any mucus or anything, just felt like my sinuses were swollen shut, and in the first week of June I had my second covid infection, still mostly asymptomatic, no cough or anything, just fatigue and headaches.

The headache never really went away. I’ve had chronic headaches my whole life due to arthritis in my neck, but this was different, more pressure and in a different location.

In September I got Covid again, and since then I have felt so crook. Migraines almost every week, moderate headaches every day from the moment I’ve wake up to the moment I pass out from exhaustion. The fatigue never went away but I can’t sleep anymore. I’ll lie in bed for hours but only get ~4 hours sleep a day, sometimes I’ll get 8 hours but in multiple naps. I’m thirsty all the time and can’t quench it, but I’m not really peeing at all, even less than usual despite drinking more water. Some days I can’t keep food down, some days food goes straight through me, there’s no middle ground. My lymphnodes are still swollen and now it’s all over my body, not just in my jaw and neck. I’ve had sinus bradycardia since September and dyspnoea (feeling like I need to yawn but can’t, like the air in my lungs isn’t getting in deep enough), and my nose bleeds every morning.

I’ve seen my doctor 8 times since June, basic tests have been run and all they can say is “it’s stress and long covid”

Im fucking sick of it. I’ve had to drastically reduce my hours (and pay) at work, and I miss my friends and all the fun active things I used to do.

I’m still managing to get by, but I wish I had a better understanding of why I feel the way I feel. “long covid” feels just as useless as no diagnosis at all.

I can’t drive because I’m visually impaired. I know I’m too visually impaired to drive because I can’t even grocery shop properly with my shit eyesight - with a basket, let alone pushing a trolley!

But I pass the eye exams they make you take before you get a license and ive double checked with my optometrist and yes, my vision score is within the legal limits to drive as long as I wear my glasses… It’s baffling, because I absolutely should not be driving! I can’t see shit!

So I don’t drive.

When I say “I’m too blind to drive” some people ask if I can just lie about my vision and fake my way through, because “you really need a licence” and when I explain I can legally get a licence I just don’t, for everyone’s safety, they act like I’m being a selfish child for not doing the adult thing and getting my licence. Just because it can doesn’t mean I should.

I do cycle, pedalling a 20kg frame of metal at 15km/h on a bike path feels a lot safer than driving a 1 tonne hunk of metal at 80km/h on a highway. Without my bike I’d be pretty fucked in terms of my independence and being able to do what needs to be done as an adult. Fortunately my vision isn’t degenerative.

But in the last 5 years, especially since 2020 covid locksdowns, I feel like there are more people on the road that shouldn’t be. There’s just a huge increase in the frequency of “silly mistakes” - people swerving into the bike lane without looking to avoid a speed bump, people running a red turn signal because they’re looking at the green straight signal, people merging lanes at dangerously low speeds, no one putting their headlights on in the rain, everyone forgetting to indicate, people stopping more abruptly instead of slowing and anticipating a stop sign, and my personal favourite, everyone cutting corners in residential areas like they’re a formula 1 driver, just turning into the oncoming traffic of the street they’re turning into.