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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • That’s so true. I studied Ba. Information Technology for two years in 2004-2005 and dropped out due to family reasons, then I went back 10 years later and did Ba. Software Engineering in 2013-2016.

    In both instances, it was clear about half those enrolled in the programme were only in it for the money, you could tell that some people were just not excited about software. They were the ones who had dropped out by the end of first year.

    The other lot were those who did find it exciting, but severely underestimated the difficulty of the discipline. These were the kind of people who have can edit game config files to add a bunch of mods to Skyrim, they consider themselves a tech wiz want to study to be a game developer. But they barely pass intro to Web programming with html and JS in the first year and fail the first oracle database course in second year. I had some good friends who failed out hard in second year of software engineering for that reason.





  • I’m also a landmark graduate, and I can confirm it is a life changing experience.

    Doing the forum allowed me to realise I have so much wasted potential, I didn’t have to be working minimum wage repairing laptops at the local computer store, I enrolled at University in a IT degree with the goal to be a software engineer. Doing the forum gave me the confidence to tell my boss I’m quitting and going to be a full time student and how that’s a good thing for him. The forum gave me the confidence to talk honestly with my wife about what I want from our marriage, instead of me constantly trying to appease her wants. It caused me to have a real, meaningful, deep conversation with my mother, for the first time in 20 years. I was able to tell her frankly that her narcissistic tendencies in my formative years caused me to suffer from debilitating chronic anxiety in my 20s (my sister too), but it’s okay because she did the best she could, and I’m getting it treated.

    I went on to do the Self-Expression and Leadership course, and later the Advanced course. My wife did the same. I eventually stopped because of the endless and relentless hard-sell routines to get all your friends and family to come and sign up. They have to realise that’s off-putting to most people, but it’s their only marketing avenue so it must work reasonably well.







  • The coin flip, chance concept is something I’ve dealt with too. I was fast going down the incel path in my mid 20s. One of my managers at work was given two tickets to a speed dating event, his mother told him he “needs to find a girlfriend” so she can “be a grandmother”. He didn’t want to go, we were talking to him about how awful a speed dating event would turn out to be.

    He said he would go if one of his friends came with him to the event too. He called so many of his friends, most were already in a relationship, or were busy that day, the rest rejected the invitation. Then he started asking workmates at work, similar situation. Eventually he approached me, he knew I was single, knew I didn’t have social life, knew I never spoke to women, he said it would be a good opportunity for me to put myself out there. My first inclination was to say “no way”, “absolutely not”, I’m not attractive and a bit autistic, I don’t make a good first impression to anyone. The thought of awkwardly making small talk for 5 minutes at a time with 12 different women who were judging me based on first impressions, was the absolute opposite of my idea of a good time.

    Then I thought about it as a chance to help my colleague, he wasn’t going to go unless I went with him, I wanted him to go, he wanted me to go, plus it was at a new bar that I’d heard good things about. At the very least I’d get to have some drinks with my work friend.

    The event was about as awkward and anxiety inducing as I expected for the most part. Most women were much older than me, and clearly had zero interest in chatting to me. So I took the pressure off myself, I wasn’t there to find a girlfriend, I didn’t buy the ticket, I was there to support my friend. There were two women around my own age, who were not bad looking and I actually managed to hold a conversation with (the beers helped). At the end of the event you could write down the name of anyone you felt a connection with and the organisers would find mutual matches.

    Next day I find out I matched with one of the women I’d indicated. I got her contact details, and started talking to her via emails and SMS for a few months, getting to know each other better. Again I didn’t put any pressure on myself, I didn’t know this person, I didn’t ask her to match with me, it was a “easy come, easy go” situation with zero stakes. After two months we eventually went on a real date, and turns out we were a great match. Two years later we were engaged. Today is our 10th wedding anniversary, and we have two kids.

    After we started dating I found out that she only went to the speed dating event as a support person to her friend. She didn’t go in looking for a relationship either.

    That got me thinking about the odds of this happening. If my colleague didn’t get given tickets from his mother, if any of his other friends weren’t busy and went with him instead, if I didn’t agree to go along with him, if she didn’t go along with her friend for support, if I didn’t write down her name at the end, if she didn’t write down my name. The mind boggles. She told me it was a 50/50 whether she wrote down my name, just like you mentioned.

    When people say dating is a “numbers game”, that doesn’t need to be interpreted in a predatory or creepy way. I think this is what it is about, the chances of finding a connection with someone really is a chance, but the one thing you can do is find a way to make that chance non-zero.



  • We use NoMachine at work too, for WFH users’ remote access to internal servers and virtual desktops. It’s a nice tidy solution, it was forked from NX library from the X2GO project about 10 years ago and went commercial, they used the commercial money to continue to develop the technology.

    Given it was forked from NX/X2GO it definitely works better on Xorg than Wayland, it seems like Wayland support was added as an afterthought bolted on.



  • Sounds like your friend is absolutely not the target audience for a linux-based operating system. If he wants to play Windows games and use software designed for Windows, then he should be using a Windows OS. Anything else would be providing a suboptimal experience for him.

    Personally, I’ve been using various Linux-based systems since 2004, as a software developer I use a lot of command-line utilities, and many tools and applications designed for Linux. If I were using predominantly tools and applications designed for Windows, then I would be using Windows. No need to make life more difficult for yourself and others.