I’m a woman in her forties and maybe my perspective helps. What I’ve noticed about myself as I am approaching menopause is this: I won’t tolerate stuff that I don’t want. No compromise anymore. My body just won’t allow that I be in a place I don’t want to be in, with people I don’t want to be with, in conditions I don’t control … so I’m probably not a very nice person anymore in the way I used to be - but at same time feeling powerfully aligned with what I really want for myself, and walking out of situations that don’t serve me.

As women are still raised to please and support others many of us tend to wear ourselves out in caring for other people and their opinion, and when that falls away with menopause the results can be very painful for the person themselves and their families. This change in me killed my relationship, and I do feel very sorry how it all went down, but I was literally physically unable to stay and remain in this ‘wife’ situation that I tend to almost automatically create for myself when with a partner.

And for your situation as a partner: No, you never have to put up with your partner criticizing you all day and dumping their rotten mood onto you. That’s not acceptable for any reason.

Do your friends have a website? I’m always curious to find good ideas to steal for other communities!

Haha insane, I swear this popped into my head out of nowhere yesterday.

Well not entirely nowhere, but I work with plant dyes. So far I’ve only dyed wool, but I suddenly had the idea to create some T-shirt printing process with what grows around here. A dye bath and ink are rather different things though, so I’d be curious for ideas how to turn plant pigment into ink, or where to look?

I’ve never even seen normal silkscreen printing done, but vaguely understand the idea. I’d try different fabrics stapled to a wooden frame as sieve, and maybe use wax to cover the non-print areas?

For a non natural method - could 3D printing be interesting for making sieves?

And what is an emulsion?

Yeah, just like most material that was ever printed or carved into a clay tablet. It’s the way of things.

That must be the most encouraging thing I’ve read in a while. Sounds like a fairly good future.

I got into and forced my way through a degree in EE just to prove I could as a foreign student working mother. Dropped out after half the time in part due to burnout, in part due to loss of motivation.

Learned a million different things (literally from basket weaving to drone racing) all stored away or suffering from lack of time after figuring out how to do them well. These days I’m between pretty decent and almost hopeless at everything. Want a mediocre wooden bed? A fairly good bathroom with mosaic art? A vegetable garden? A small computer program?

I sometimes wonder what this ADHD thing is good for, for sure it must have some purpose? It’s like I’m waiting for the big conclusion of something that connects all the things I have been picking up throughout the years.

c/iamverysmart c/iamaclosetfascist

Speaking is an act of changing reality, always. If you want to go as far as calling this ‘speaking to’ is up to you.

I decided to check if it was any better than my current specialized job portal, which has enshittified a little in the last years. But Linkedin enshittification can’t be beat. It’s like prostitution level of job seeking for brainwashed people. What jobs are you applying for?

LinkedIn just isn’t for Jobs Anymore. It’s Now a Pile of Trash.

Ads about pushing your career, then more ads about how to create a better work life balance. And everybody seems to be a coach who tries to push their courses about the above mentioned topics. Thanks but I’ll pass.

I made her mine using the command line and sudo

Be a member of the Brother-hood. I have a big black multifunction Brother printer, scanner (even fax, wtf!), and it works on both Linux and Windows. Bought four years ago. It just wants a quiet corner and a wifi connection. I think it’d even print from my Android phone if I tickled it a little, but can’t be arsed now. It’s happy with cheapo ink as well. It also cleans itself and has survived in a definitely-not-an-office environment. If it makes another year I’ll give it a pet name, it deserves one!

What is this idea about not eating non-humans I communicate with. I speak with my plants too and they entertain complex thought. Do I have to stop eating them? There is nothing out there that isn’t a person. Continue eating as you see fit and be kind to the living.

I’ve heard good stuff about interval training

Spirits of my dead balkan grandmothers and some decent greenery. Alcohol is for losers.

I have come to terms with the fact that some people are too damaged to be dealt with. Their perspective and handling of life and mine just diverge too much, and any effort spent trying to align these perspectives is bound to cause more hurt.

I think about contacting her so often. Once I got a birthday message from her sister, who she lives with. I mentioned the hurt and why I was not talking to my mother, and got back more of the same emotional abuse. Both aunt and mom are lost, out there with their anger and bitterness, and it’s not my job to retrieve them, as much as I would like to.

The fact she turned into a literal nazi in just a few decades (thank you facebook) doesn’t help the situation.

Writing this kind of mean stuff, having the chance to re-read it, and then sending it anyway to ones own child is what gets me. Ugly things said in the heat of a discussion are not great, but to have the chance to sleep over it, think it through, and still going forward. Another level of mean.

I am very lucky, and very privileged to be able to do what I do. Living in EU vs US helps, having few expenses and very few needs really helps. Being very reclusive as well, I really had to spend a long time just with my small family and animals to come to terms with how limited my ability to handle other people is. If I ever feel like going out again I’d start setting up a repair café and swap shop, but I will have to limit stuff like this to one day a week probably or will go into burnout again. I mean, even too much online interaction like commenting on Lemmy sets me into some weird frenzy I have to recover from lol

I guess I had always my animals to give me enough structure to not completely lose it, then my child. It’s like an override. Even now with child almost grown and only spending half his time here, you wouldn’t believe how much better I eat when he is here compared to when he’s not, just because I want to make sure I feed him well and set a good example. And I never fail getting up because the animals need feeding - imagine a horse neighing and two donkeys braying when they consider it’s getting a little late. Like having a boss, but with a really fluffy nose and generally nicer and less annoying.

I had this procedure done as a child. Very simple, zero problems. I never even remembered it before your post.