I fall asleep when my exhaustion overwhelms my anxiety; I get up when my anxiety overwhelms my exhaustion.

Step 1: Go to bed at 22:00

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Fall asleep at 04:00

• 6-8 hours before bed: no more coffee
• 3 hours before bed: no more eating
• 1-2 hours before bed: shower + hot bath
• until bed: low light (not blue light). No more non-fiction (no news, no work-related, etc.) and no games. Basically, nothing to get the mind/body worked up.
• bed. No screens or lights. Light music or white noise if needed.

This works pretty well for me, but sticking to it 100% of the time can be a bit difficult.

Drugs

Edit: to clarify, I mean prescription stuff. But whatever floats your boat

I’m still baffled by it, but a couple of years ago I found a switch in my brain and now I rarely have issues falling asleep anymore. I think the most important thing for me is not to constantly ask myself why I’m failing at such a seemingly simple task, but rather work around my natural instincts and try to support them as best I can.

If I go to bed early, because I have to get up early, I start spiralling and fall asleep way later, so I try to only go to bed whenever I’m tired. If I end up sleping too little I take one or two 20 minute naps (I try to never exceed 20, it would make me even more tired).

Another factor is probably how long I sleep. I always assumed I wanted to sleep long, because getting up sucks. But at some point I realised, that my first ‘sorta-awake’ moment is the perfect moment to get up and have energy for the day and get tired at the proper time. This moment comes at around 6 hours for me. I still struggle with this a lot though.

Getting to bed with my wife. Laying with dimmed lights for a while and then pretending to sleep together. Whenever my wife is not home and I sleep alone I tend to prolong my time on phone and then have difficulty falling asleep.

An hour of exercise about 5 hours earlier

Recently my wife and I both tried and can confirm that taking Calm (check Amazon) 1 hour before bed allows us not only to fall asleep easily, but felt like we slept well. No I don’t work for them.

Also don’t drink anything with caffeine in it past 3pm.

I use an app called insight timer. It has guided meditations. I hated the idea, and I still hate the idea, but it works. There are a bunch of different types, so you can look around to find one that works for you. I’m sure you can find the same things on YouTube or whatever, but this collecta them all into one place.

• Smart lights throughout the house. Mine very gradually dim off in the evening, simulating sunset, which helps convince my body to crawl into bed. They also gradually dim on in the mornings, which helps ease me into being awake. When my routines are strong, I’m often up and out of bed before my alarm (and before sunrise).
• Exercise. I find that working out first thing in the morning works best for me, but my friend does better with evening workouts. Consistency is much more important than time of day, but maybe don’t expect to fall asleep immediately after working out.
• Sleep cycles. A typical sleep cycle is roughly 90 minutes, so aiming for a bedtime that gives you a multiple of 90 minutes total sleep time can make the waking up part easier. I used to use the Sleep ad Android app for my alarm because it could try to detect your sleep cycles and would wake you up early if it meant waking you up in the ideal sleep phase.
• Don’t sleep in. I know it’s a real tough one, but if you can force yourself to get up on a consistent schedule, you’re more likely to be actually tired on schedule also. This one is especially challenging to stick to if you want to get up early on weekdays, but stay up late on weekends. Naps may help here, but it can take some practice to find what works.
• Bed is for sleep (and sex) only. Don’t hang out in bed, and if you’re having a lot of trouble falling asleep, get out of bed for a while until you’re feeling more tired. This helps your brain form a stronger association where bed = sleep.
• Avoid caffeine, alcohol, marijuana, etc., before bed. While some of these may help you fall asleep, they often result in lower quality sleep and may make it more likely that you wake up.
• Limit fluid intake before bed so that you don’t wake up in the middle of the night to pee. *Routine. I think I kinda loosely touched on this in a few other points, but sticking to a consistent routine makes it so much easier to fall asleep and wake up.

Oh, and if your responsibilities and/or latitude have you regularly trying to sleep during daylight hours, definitely get a sleep mask and/or some good blackout curtains so you can block out the light. Ear plugs may also be helpful if noise is an issue.

Toss off

Honestly? Ritalin

Since I started taking it I’m way more tired in the evening and don’t struggle to fall asleep 🤷

2 hours before: Dim the lights and huff some melatonin

2 - 1 hour: Get in bed and read a book. Maybe some more melatonin

Then fall asleep

I don’t use my phone or any electronics and try not to talk too much with my roommates during that time. I also found that if I take ritalin or drink coffee less than like 8 hours before sleep, that I have more trouble falling asleep.

Obviously your mileage may (and will) vary