What “valuable new services” could they possibly be talking about? Is the internet fast? Does it stay on most of the time? What the fuck else do they think people want?
Clearly they’ve found a new way to bundle your internet, cellular, satellite tv, auto insurance, pet walker, and lawn care, all in a new ultra-value^† bundle.
^(† ultra-value only available for first month, cancellation fees may apply; we reserve the right to package and sell your totally for realsies anonymous usage data)
What “valuable new services” could they possibly be talking about? Is the internet fast? Does it stay on most of the time? What the fuck else do they think people want?
Clearly they’ve found a new way to bundle your internet, cellular, satellite tv, auto insurance, pet walker, and lawn care, all in a new ultra-value^† bundle.
^(† ultra-value only available for first month, cancellation fees may apply; we reserve the right to package and sell your totally for realsies anonymous usage data)
Who doesn’t want a bunch of packages bundled in at a low price* where the advertisement does not list the extra fees?
*for three months and then your bill will double