What they are conveying is that “dude” is clearly not a gender-neutral term, as a straight guy would agree that they “fuck people”, weird as the phrasing is, but not that they “fuck dudes.” It demonstrates that they themselves don’t perceive the social understanding of the term “dude” as gender neutral, not that “fucking dudes” is bad. It could also be used to debate a lesbian by the same token.
I agree with her that dude is gendered (and generally disrespectful to say to non-friends anyway).
But it’s clear we disagree on the examples’ connotaton. I can’t really make it more clear that I think there’s a negative connotation to the example used, I can’t however force you to accept that. At the risk of looping the comments perpetually I will wish you the best with this one and leave it at that.
To be clear, I don’t think she had any malice in mind when using that argument, just that I wished a different example would be used than scaring the (assumed) straight guy with “do you fuck a dude?”, as if he was gay and said yes, that would’ve been a fine answer, but not really have an impact (gays can still be transphobic/against pronouns, those idiots exist sadly).
What they are conveying is that “dude” is clearly not a gender-neutral term, as a straight guy would agree that they “fuck people”, weird as the phrasing is, but not that they “fuck dudes.” It demonstrates that they themselves don’t perceive the social understanding of the term “dude” as gender neutral, not that “fucking dudes” is bad. It could also be used to debate a lesbian by the same token.
I agree with her that dude is gendered (and generally disrespectful to say to non-friends anyway).
But it’s clear we disagree on the examples’ connotaton. I can’t really make it more clear that I think there’s a negative connotation to the example used, I can’t however force you to accept that. At the risk of looping the comments perpetually I will wish you the best with this one and leave it at that.
To be clear, I don’t think she had any malice in mind when using that argument, just that I wished a different example would be used than scaring the (assumed) straight guy with “do you fuck a dude?”, as if he was gay and said yes, that would’ve been a fine answer, but not really have an impact (gays can still be transphobic/against pronouns, those idiots exist sadly).
Fair enough, have a good day 💚