• gerryflap@feddit.nl
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    2 months ago

    I’ve had a colleague say that tea is “homo water”. I’m aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don’t know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we’ve kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.

    • slingstone@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Being gay doesn’t mean someone is somehow less masculine, which is the heart of what the “homo water” idiot is implying.

      Was the British Empire, upon which the sun never set, somehow not masculine enough? One could argue it ran on tea. Morally questionable, absolutely, but not manly enough?

      Were the samurai somehow compromised in their masculinity because they drank tea, sometimes in elaborate ceremonies?

      And, apart from tea, were the Sacred Band, the elite warriors who died to a man fighting Alexander the Great’s dad, somehow less manly because they were all gay?

      I bet this colleague of yours also thinks straws are gay in this parlance, as if it’s somehow more manly to put one’s lips on the same glass rims touched by hundreds of others. I guess hygiene is not masculine or heterosexual.

      And the thing is, even my rant here is problematic because it spawns from a lifetime of people equating gay with not being enough of a man, an attitude that infects my own thinking.

      Shit, the most feminine of men is more of a man than these idiots if he stands up for his identity unapologetically.

      • gerryflap@feddit.nl
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        2 months ago

        Yeah this is kinda a point. People like this colleague seem to have gotten stuck in a highschool bully mindset ans never moved on. All of their jokes are about people who are different, their whole status seems to be based on their “masculinity”. In my experience this is the largest portion of homo/transphobes here in the Netherlands. People who aren’t violent or outright hateful, but rather just pushing outdated jokes and viewpoints and then getting annoyed by all the “woke bullshit” when they get called out.

        My tactic so far is to not fully attack back, but rather staying friendly while showing my disappointment with this behaviour unless it goes too far. Most of these people are otherwise decent, and in my opinion may be swayed by someone “woke” who doesn’t go “full crazy sjw” but does call them out. Making a joke about minorities is way easier of you don’t know anyone well from those groups. They’re not crazy Trump voters, so they may still be steered in the right direction

    • Vivendi@lemmy.zip
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      2 months ago

      tea is homo water

      The entire nations of Iran, England, and China would like to know the location of this little bitch

  • Akasazh@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.

    So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.

    When I’m walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said ‘well aren’t you the gayest person I’ve met all day’.

    I’m not sure how to feel tbh

  • BCsven@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago
    • Wear orange or pink.
    • Eat quiche
    • Like poetry
    • Hang out with girls at recess
    • Wear an earring
    • Owning Laurie Anderson or Philip Glass CDs
    • Entropywins@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Quiche is amazing. Who doesn’t like eggs and ham/bacon? Hanging out with gurls, well yeah nothing straight about that…

    • Iron Lynx@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Orange? Wait until Dutch football fans hear that. Would make NL during a Euro Cup or World Cup an absolutely ✨ fabulous ✨place xD

  • jrubal1462@mander.xyz
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    2 months ago

    Around 2010ish I was thoroughly enjoying some Bells Two Hearted and other IPAs. My brother (2 years older) tried arguing that bud light is man’s beer, and my beers were fruity and girly. It certainly doesn’t matter to me, but the irony of choosing bud light, out of all the macro beers, is just 👨‍🍳😘>

  • Soapbox1858@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Playing tennis.

    In jr high I had some friends who played football say my other friends and I on the tennis team were gay for playing tennis.

    I had to point out to them that the tennis team was co-ed and we regularly made out with our female teammates on the long bus rides to tournaments.

    While those on the football team were constantly manhandling each other, showering together and slapping each other on the ass to say “good game.” But the tennis team are the gay ones?

    They got mad, but dropped it.

  • M600@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Once I was at a hotel bar with colleagues and we were hanging out in some lounge area. The waitress asked if we wanted drinks, so I ordered a margarita.

    Then they made fun of me for it. Like, what the hell does it matter what drink I have.

      • M600@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Margaritas and Champaign are the two drinks I can’t stop drinking once I start.

        They are just too good, I love the carbonation of Champaign. I’d drink cheap Champaign all day.

  • Nath@aussie.zone
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    2 months ago

    Dance. In a troupe full of girls. Honestly, it was me and 15-20 girls.

    Other boys literally called me gay for dancing, while they went and played whatever sports they did and then all went into a locker room and showered together etc.

    I honestly never understood how they thought dance was gay. I don’t understand it now.

    • BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Spending hours with a bunch of ladies and possibly touching them in intimate locations.

      vs

      Spending hours with a bunch of guys and possibly touching them in intimate locations. Then showing with them.

      Yeah, dance is way gayer.

  • Entropywins@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    The one and only thing was the way I held my wrists/hands when I was younger/into my teens. What’s super weird is it was my dad who brought it up and mentioned it a lot but he is super supportive of lgbtq+ that’s the weird thing to me.

  • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 months ago

    These are all example from decades ago growing up in the 90’s.

    I was called gay for not liking soccer, like it’s gay to not watch men chase a ball in shorts.

    I was called gay for wearing UGG boots as a dude. Like if we even want to accept gay as an insult, I would argue the person bothered by such things as what shoes one is wearing is more fitting of an insult.

    Fun fact. When I had a house mate who was gay, it was very difficult not to use gay as a word for something that wasn’t fun. Like this show is gay. He didn’t mind, but still wanted to stop.

    • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      I somehow managed to condition myself into thinking of gay as a complement term. People I hung out with in high school used to call things “straight” derogatively. Something was straight if it was boring, bland, predictable, superficially performative in a conformist manner, etc.

    • BatmanAoD@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I read a lot as a child and watched very little TV. So in first grade, I only knew the “traditional” meaning of gay. The first time I remember hearing it in the sense of homosexual was when a classmate told me, in a hushed and gossipy tone, “one of the Teletubbies is gay.” (I did know about the show even if I hadn’t ever watched it.) I didn’t really react, but all I was thinking was, “aren’t they all?”

  • Marin_Rider@aussie.zone
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    2 months ago

    when I finished high school and was talking with friends about going to uni, a few of us were talking a out renting a place together when we got into uni to be close (instead of 2 hours away like we were). another friend we should never do that because people would think we are gay. obligatory he is a Christian fundamentalist who is highly likely gay himself

    • WanderingVentra@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      You guys not have fraternities over there? Because that’s a place where a bunch of friends live together in uni lol

      • Marin_Rider@aussie.zone
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        2 months ago

        there is dorms at some unis but they aren’t very big. most people live at home or rent something nearby themselves

  • rez@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    Looking at my fingernails while my fingers were on top of my palm

    • copymyjalopy@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      As a fellow crafty, cooking, mostly straight dude, I’m sorry to hear people calling your generosity and thoughtfulness “gay.”