I buy my wife matching undies and bras.
It’s fun for me, she appreciates the new clothes and I pick out what I want to see her in / out of.
Win win.
Small things. Sounds. The temperature of the air. The fact that my side isn’t hurting right now. The kids costumes who were just trick or treating at my house.
I really love seeing a well curated list, and that’s a well curated list.
if only our lives were the only thing we focused on
still on the topic of small things that bring happiness: coffee in the morning, listening the air on the trees, the birds, nature in general, food (good food, not processed, made by you) good friends, good talks, walks.
I was just about to write “by lowering the bar”, but I like your version more.
Eating people. Eating family and friends, eating vagrants, eating the needy. Some people can even taste the camaraderie of the people they work with.
It comes down to eating people and if you have trouble just eat people. You know what they say hungry people eat people.
WTF?
I find happiness getting lost in projects, projects being anything & everything from writing to designing to stuff around the house to whatever. Just something that gets me obsessed for at least a few days or weeks. I can’t predict when it will happen, it just has to be a sufficient problem for me to look at.
I also find happiness with some people, but that sort of happiness is unpredictable as well since people have their own lives going on and feelings can change over time. Getting too close to people though can just as easily make my life feel meaningless and make me depressed when things turn sour. I tend to crave affection and physical touch, so this is a hard one for me to just ignore this.
I find happiness getting lost in projects
I relate to this on a visceral level
Happiness is fleeting, like other emotions, it comes and goes. Focusing on it is like chasing a wave.
Understanding your own values and what you find meaningful is essential for moving through life, because we’re not in control. Stuff happens, and we get to deal with it.
You don’t find happiness. It comes and goes. Imagine being happy all the time; it would just become normal. You need non happy times to appreciate the happy times.
As someone that is either very happy or very sad, I find happiness in my hobbies. I need my mind to be occupied to pass the time, but then there is the thought I’m just waiting to die and passing time.
Hobbies that make me happy are:
- Indoor bouldering (rock climbing) is the only thing I’ve found that lets me escape the constant train of thought and be in the moment. It’s a nerdy hobby as lots of problem solving mixed with strength training.
- Running
- Rubiks cube
- Lego
- Cross stitch
- Paint by numbers
- 3D printing
- learning
- many more but this is getting long.
As someone who is down a lot of the time and has ADHD but stopped the meds as the side affects were worse than living with ADHD; I’ve found that routine is a massive thing required to be content with life. Consistent bed time and wake time. I am not a morning person but after 18 months of waking at 07:30 or 06:00, depending on if I’m taking the train to work, that I now wake up a few minutes before my alarm quite often; I’m still tired and I hate it but it gets easier.
Spending time with other people is key too. I find if I’m down it’s usually cause I’ve been alone a lot (which I love) and that can be bad for me so I’ll go see friends even if I don’t want to just to engage.
Luckily I can spot when I’m spiralling. I have an urge to fire up Minecraft and live vicariously through Steve and shut out the world.
Outdoor hobbies. I’ve got really into foraging, which has multiple benefits, I get to be outside, I get exercise, I learn new things which stimulates my brain, and if I’m lucky I also get free food (which is usually superior in taste and nutrition to store bought). I combine it with hiking, fishing, geocaching etc and if I’m alone I sometimes listen to music on my headphones. Once you start developing outdoor hobbies it’s like you unlock an insanely intricate open world video game.
I just recently quit my job and it’s got me thinking about app development around this idea.
It’s either drugs or not having a shitty childhood, unfortunately I’m the wrong person to ask
Can confirm, had a shitty childhood but drugs work really good.
Kind of surprised no one has mentioned it… But kids. Kids bring a lot of happiness.
Yep, they’re stressful too – but it’s usually the good kind of stress (exhaustion) and not the bad one (uncertainty). Although that pivots once they hit their teens.
They bring happiness, and a lot of other things too.
Ehh, they have knock-on uncertainties. Especially if you are financially hurting.
It depends.
For a lot of adults, I would agree that they are a bright point in their lives. But it isn’t universal.
Yep, just like how every single other answer in this thread isn’t universal.
Kids can also completely ruin marriages. I know multiple people who have straight up told me “my marriage used to be great and then having kids ruined it.” Of course kids can also bring tons of happiness! But it’s not universal.
I guess that’s one perspective. Another one might be that their marriage wasn’t as great as they thought it was in the first place.
Kids are stressful, no argument there. But blaming kids because their marriage buckled under the added stress just feels like an easy excuse. I suspect there were deeper issues that those people weren’t particularly interested in exploring.
Basically everyone I’ve talked to in my age range that has kids basically has Stockholm syndrome, but I guess there are also enough people that do intrinsically enjoy having kids.
Reflecting and seeing improvement in my being.
Discovering my own intuition, and following it to sometimes scary situations. Doing so from a comfortable base I can retreat to when needed.
For me it’s about pursuing hobbies and having new experiences. I really enjoy developing new skills and seeing myself improve, and doing things I haven’t done before.
sleep
(and occasional life achievements or events, like yesterday)
By remembering and being fully aware of who you are in this world … by being grateful for the good fortune you had by being born in the situation and family you have now.
You could have been born in an African village and lived for a year before dying of something. You could have been born in the slums of Mumbai. You could have been born in Gaza. You could also remove the time constraint and you could have been born a peasant in medieval Europe.
Out of all the billions of human lives that have existed so far, there are many that were born during this time but only a small percentage of them were lucky enough to be born in a family with wealth and privilege enough to enjoy the modern technologies we’ve created so far.
I am lucky, you are lucky and anyone who is able to read this is lucky to have been born at this time to enjoy this online chat.
Remember where you are in this world and this time. As unhappy as you think you might be, there are millions of people that wish they could have the life you have now.
Be happy because you are a winner of the cosmic lottery of existence.
the good fortune you had by being born in the situation and family you have now.
That’s not the case for every household
Hobbies, spending time wirh friends and families, eating, murdering vagrants, helping the needy, and some people even enjoy comraderie with people they work with.
It comes down to figuring out what makes you happy and if you have trouble you just need to try new things.
Would you not put murdering vagrants under hobbies?
Recognizing how my desires are never truly satisfied, and they cause me suffering. How they constantly shift and always want more. In other words I let go of my judgment and accept what I see. That doesn’t mean I don’t judge it at all or don’t change it. It just means I’m not attached to the desire to change things. It’s just a feeling, and I can act on it, but it’s a conscious decision rather than a habit.
