I’ve mentioned it on here before, I think. It’s one of my favorite stories. The look on his face was absolutely horrific and hilarious. I asked him several times afterwards how his pregnant sinuses were. He did not find it as funny as I did.

But not from Tennessee.

I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.

! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.

Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<

I once had a conversation with a cashier in TN that started with a newspaper by check out saying something about remembrance day in England. I explained it’s basically like their version of Memorial Day. It ended with me having to explain what Europe is. A super abridged synopsis:

Me: It’s basically their version of Memorial Day.

Her: why do they need a different version?

Me: they’re a different country, different laws.

Her: it’s not really a different country if you can drive to it

Me:… What

Her: I mean, it’s basically just the same country

Me: you cannot drive to England.

Her: you can’t?

Me: it’s an island.

Her: I thought it was Europe?

Me: you also cannot drive to Europe.

I then had to explain what Europe was, how England is Europe in the same way Puerto Rico is North America. I shouldn’t have included that. Or tried to explain armistice day. It was a very long conversation that ended up going outside during her smoke break.

She was the second grown adult I had to explain Europe to. Tennessee has failed it’s children, y’all. I’m not being funny, and contrary to OP’s premise, I don’t really judge them for this. I judge the state and the school system. It’s bad.

We’ve been through half a dozen fridges at least in the last 10 years. They’re all horrible now. The best one we’ve found Medea convertible. You can change it from upright freezer into a refrigerator if you want. We use it as a fridge, and got a chest freezer. I’ve tried every other brand i can get my hands on, and none of them last. It’s horrible.

I have a cheapish samsung tablet that has blue light filtering, a black and white option, and super low screen brightness options. Low enough that if you’re in a dark room, it’s low enough that i can’t have it all the way down and still read.

Well… The world is a lie.

There are ones of us! Ones!

I’ve been using it for a few years now. It’s great.

Couple tips:

Add a colored bar with the date being the first of each month, and the name being AAA. It makes it easier to read to have month separators in

Add a column that says what account you paid it out of if you use multiple accounts

Don’t forget to update it with new bills you acquire

Get the Google sheets app on your phone, and log every purchase. Candy bar at the gas station? Log it. Secret fast food purchase you don’t want anyone knowing about because you’re ashamed? Log it as a gasoline purchase. Bought some weed from that dude Tommy who was at your buddy’s house? “Walgreens” lol. Just make sure you get in the habit of logging minor spending

Also, there’s a cool graphic that you can set to be emailed to you once a month that you link to the budget, giving you a break down of your spending in certain categories. I’ll find it and update the original comment with it.

I know you have my life mapped out, because as someone who desperately wants kids, it’s impossible not to do that. But don’t assume a kid is going to follow that plan. Some kids are gay. You both handled that news really, really well, but for real, why did you have to assume I was straight to begin with? I wish I could have told you when I was 14, but I had to deal with not being the thing you thought I was. As a result, I’m 32 and still don’t have kids, because I got a really late start on the whole dating someone thing, and I’ve still never brought anyone home. It’s not your fault, but next go round, try not to box your kids the way you were boxed in.

Also, Mama. Leave his ass. Do not marry him. It doesn’t matter how upset Grandmama will be, she’ll get over it. Just tell her you love her, and go raise that baby alone.

I plan on convincing my mom to leave my dad. Sadly, 6 isn’t young enough to prevent him from ruining her life, though. But at least she’ll get out earlier, and also I can hopefully prevent her from having a surgery that completely changed her life for the worse.

You shame me, Ms. Bot. You shame me.

(Finally something I can almost answer!)

So, I don’t have an app, but I use this, and it’s amazing. Takes around 30-45 minutes to set up.

Yes, Pipedbot, that is a YouTube link. Proceed with your public shaming.

a graphical chart you can link to the original spreadsheet and have emailed to yourself monthly

Is the joke that they got there too late…?

As a confused American, why does 187ml size exist? My confusion is not with the metric system, I’m fluentish. But… Why so small? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bottle of wine smaller than 500ml, and even that is pretty teeny. That’s the size of a water bottle. Am I just not shopping at the right liquor stores, or is this a British thing to do shots of wine?

Recommend any online communities for learning about Taoism?

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

I met a woman on FB years ago. She’s super effeminate, and tiny, and no one would ever guess that she forges swords in her backyard on the weekends, and I absolute love her.

What about an Android alternative? I don’t use any, so can’t recommend, but I’m sure one of them will be a knockoff of a similar size.

Thanks, I hate it!