J.D. Vance is a festering tumor in a suit. But I really do think Nia was hitting on me the other night.

Yeah he doesn’t even, like, get us, man.

You’re not the weird ones. I used to have joint accounts with my then-wife, but I’ll never do that again. Mainly because I will never marry again (ridiculous concept if you ask me - the government charging you money so that they can approve your relationship is bananas to me, and then paying them more to dissolve it if it doesn’t work out), but also because I haven’t met many people out there who manage their own money well, so why would I ever put them in a position of control over the money I earn?

“Alexa, turn on the living room lights.”

Facebook up, hit the lawyer, delete gym.

Polyamory is very cool for people who are wired for it. A whole lot of people aren’t, and that’s okay. And some people could be wired for it, but they have a whole lot of self-work to do before they’ll practice it well.

It works for me because I know that I never again want to presume any semblance of control or authority over any partner’s absolute right to seek out joy and fulfillment by forming however many ethical and consensual relationships they wish, of whatever style they wish, with whomever they wish, for as long as they wish, and I insist upon the same right for myself.

Jealousy is just not an emotion I experience. Envy, yes…envy being wanting what someone else has. When I see a partner of mine having a particular dynamic with another partner that I want to have with them, I feel envy. But not jealousy, which is not wanting someone else to have something of yours. That is, I don’t feel anxiety about their other partner “stealing them away from me.” Anything lacking between me and a partner has nothing to do with anyone else not in our relationship; if I feel something is missing between us or want things to be a certain way, it is incumbent upon me to speak up, and vice versa. Outside of our relationship, I cheer my partners on in their other connections because love is fucking amazing, man!

It’s a Friday. Because all that matters in any date with a year greater than four digits is the last four digits, and July 26, 2024 is today, and today is a Friday. 😊

But, if I didn’t know July 26, 2024 were a Friday…

Step 1)

Starting numbers:

• Century is a multiple of 400: 2
• Century is 100 more than multiple of 400: 0
• Century is 200 more than multiple of 400: 5
• Century is 300 more than a multiple of 400: 3

2024 is in the century of the 2000s. 2000 is a perfect multiple of 400, so the starting number there is 2.

Step 2) 24 is a multiple of 12, specifically 12 x 2. Thus we add 2.

Step 3) 24 is a perfect multiple of 12 with zero years in excess, so we can add 0.

Step 4) There are no leap years in the 0 extra years beyond the closest multiple of 24, so we can add another 0.

Step 5) The Doomsday for July is 7/11. July 26th is 15 days after July 11th. 15 mod 7 is 1, so we add 1.

Step 6) 2 + 2 + 0 + 0 + 1 = 5

Step 7)

• 0 = Sunday (Noneday)
• 1 = Monday (Oneday)
• 2 = Tuesday (Twoday)
• 3 = Wednesday (Threesday)
• 4 = Thursday (Thorsday Foursday)
• 5 = Friday (Fiveday)
• 6 = Saturday (Sixaday)

Our total was 5, so the date July 26th, 2024 (or any year with the last four digits 2024) is a Friday.

Holy shit, this is classic. The next time I let my ADHD get the better of me and I accidentally click on a link in a spoof phishing email (and, yes, try to log in to whatever account they told me there was a problem with because I’m an idiot, you’re so perfect, shut up) sent as a test by the IT department which results in them requiring me to take some KnowBe4 refresher course, I’m sending them this article and telling them “This one is a freebie.”

I can read UPC, ISBN, and EAN bar codes. Tear the numbers off the bottom, hand me the lines, and I can tell you the numbers you tore off. Also, if you give me any specific date on the Gregorian calendar (on or after October 15, 1582), I can tell you the day of the week it was or will be on.

Finally…way less interesting…but I have a Master’s degree in math and have taught elementary, middle school, high school, dual credit, and college math classes.

The Rural Jeweler

Maybe it’s just my corner of the world, but I don’t think I’ve been in a fast food joint in the last ten years and found a single eating surface that wasn’t covered in the trash of the previous person who sat there, sticky, or both. The employees just don’t seem to be keeping the places clean and, to be honest, I don’t blame them. Make the food, take the money, call it a day. Minimum wage gets minimum effort, and I dig it. But because I am autistic and can’t stand sticky tables, I get it to go.

I could care fewer on that one.

I thought you was black, man?

So the Cybertruck is not that fast and the CEO of the company that makes it is a jamoke, big deal. At least it looks stupid.

Two. Two professors. Two are suing for their right to be shitheads. This needs to be clarified. It’s not a class action lawsuit or anything. The vast majority of profs I had at UT-Austin, if they are still teaching there, were almost certainly protesting Palestinian occupation along with the students.

(This being said and Texas being what it is, I am surprised it isn’t more than two. I can’t leave this state fast enough.)

Goldfinger did a recording of Superman, Here in Your Bedroom, and a couple other songs during the pandemic.

Not sure if you are goofin’, but that is a Tony Hawk level.

Of course. He’s the tough, smart lawyer who gets results.

Granted, I grew up in DFW and those commercials of his I watched in between episodes of Gomer Pyle, Hogans Heroes, I Dream of Jeannie, and Bewitched on KTVT Channel 11 (Fort Worth/Dallas) on days I stayed home sick are forever and indelibly etched into my memory.

Trauma bonding. (800) 799-7233

Or when a webform requires an honorific and none of them is suitable. (I’ll usually pick “Honorable”)