A Tesla owner’s dream of taking his new Cybetruck for a spin turned into a nightmare. He landed in the emergency room with blood spurting from a wrist wound before even getting behind the wheel.
Blood letting can actually be healthy in many American males, since often they have a overabundance of iron. Thus we must conclude the Elon Musk Supergenious has used Grok AI to let the Cybertruck analyze their owners through the autodrive cameras and automatically bleed them if they have a overabundance of iron. Tesla continues to innovate and in fact probably saved this mans life!
One day soon someone will search online for what to do for a cut and some AI will spit out “Blood letting can actually be healthy in many American males, since often they have a overabundance of iron…”
Plus any blood that ends up on the truck makes it go fasta.
It actually wouldn’t surprise me if this turned out to be true
Don’t worry that will never happen and if Elon should say it’s true, he’s lying.
There’s a reason we don’t have hood ornaments anymore, but somehow a vehicle completely constructed of sharp corners and edges is just fine.
We can’t have pop-up headlights because of pedestrian safety, but you can buy a 5,000 pound vehicle that does 0-60 in three seconds and has a hood level with most people’s heads because that’s totally safe for pedestrians.
Also you can put a steel crash bar on the front that completely bypasses the crumple zones and presents hazards to both pedestrians and passengers solely because it makes the owner feel “tough”.
Machismo culture: Maim yourself and your familial property to own the libs. Now that’s what I call husbandry 🇺🇸🫡🦅🎆🐢🏝
They’re also damage multipliers in otherwise minor accidents. So instead of needing a new plastic bumper cover and some styrofoam, you now also need a new grill, headlights and hood too.
So it is good for the economy?
Most of the plastic parts are made in China, so it depends after you live.
Isn’t husbandry raising animals?
Extra bonus points if you bolt some super bright Led lights to said bar and shine them on people that look suspicious to you.
Although those rules are European, and the Cybertruck isn’t being sold there. If Telsa wanted to sell the cyber truck in Europe, they would need to make some pretty dramatic changes to complying with pedestrian safety laws.
I’ll wager that they’re not going sell this in Europe. Big ass trucks don’t have a big market in Europe, and this thing is like the OG roadster. An expensive impractical toy for rich folks.
Is that the listed reason pop-up headlights were outlawed? I thought it was because the pop-up mechanisms fail and then you don’t have lights, same reason the brake lights can’t be on movable bodywork.
Are we pretending to care about pedestrians now? The US has long held the attitude that it was their own damn fault for not being in a car. There are a multitude of established, studied, simple changes that could be made to make things safer for pedestrians with relatively little needed in the way of sacrifice from car designers if anyone felt pedestrians have a right to live.
I don’t have a car and go for a walk most days, where I live drivers treat pedestrians and (bikers/scooters/other alternatives) as enemies/targets/antagonists/etc.
With zero oncoming traffic or an empty second lane, where I live people swerve toward you instead of around when passing you. At a particular intersection I only cross on the ped signal cause its by the interstate, I get cussed out a few times a month just for not being in a car - Its fucking nuts.
There are a multitude of established, studied, simple changes that could be made to make things safer for pedestrians with relatively little needed in the way of sacrifice from car designers
Can you share some of these? I had a small stint in the auto design industry and am genuinely curious.
Lower hood bonnet height. So victims get thrown on the hood with a better chance of survival. With a high hood height, people are more likely to get knocked down and run over.
First and foremost look up the benefits of roundabouts. On the grand scheme of city planning and. Construction, these are low cost life savers for pedestrians and drivers - easy win.
Lower hoods, rounded edges (stares at cyber truck), and smart braking are some of the big design elements that already exist See https://www.iihs.org/news/detail/new-ratings-address-pedestrian-crashes As a good source.
I don’t have any resources but my Volvo has a long, low hood and a heavily padded engine cover
It is stainless steel, it sterilizes well so there should be low risk of infection. What are you worried about?
You know, I had never considered why we don’t have hood ornaments anymore. It does make sense, though.
And it’s made of thin stainless steel sheets with sharp corners and edges
Doesn’t certain Mercedes and jaguar still use hood ornaments? I don’t think this is a safety thing, they just fell out of style
Yeah they do, along with Bentley. Not sure about any regulations, but I do know that they are usually (always?) Not rigidly fix any more. You would have to look at the EU to know for sure. I don’t believe that America has any pedestrian impact standards. Hell the the DOT crash standards for passengers are a joke.
Mercedes’s stars have been on springs for decades indeed. You can easily push them over (but make sure you put it back nicely). I think Rolls Royce’s Spirit of Ecstasy pops back into the hood but I don’t know how that works on impact.
You don’t see those long rigidly fixed guillotines they had in the 50’s anymore. I do know from experience that the little Mercedes three point hoop thing is kind of spring loaded so it’ll flex during an impact.
The corners are insanely dangerous IMO. You’ve got basically a sheet of metal along the edge of the truck which sticks out a bit. Relevant bit from a Youtube video https://youtu.be/LC9a3GR1HJY?t=437
The two aren’t linked?
Hood ornaments were mostly an artifact of how radiators used to be filled. There was SOME discussion of whether they are more dangerous to a pedestrian but most were flimsy to the point that the corpse rolling up on your hood would snap it off rather than get impaled like a Spindlebeast is running a train on them.
Mostly… it was a mix of people wanting “sleek” cars coupled with those inevitably getting broken off and stolen.
Early hood ornaments, and hood “spurs” were most certainly dangerous to pedestrians. Regulations in the US eliminated traditional fixed hood ornaments, though some later models featured smaller spring-loaded ornaments.
The risk factor of traditional hood ornaments was always very suspect and more a function of hood design than not. The actual danger (which, again, is still very questionable when you are getting hit by a car at speed) was more stuff like (going by the wikipedia page) the 1949 Kaiser and the texas faux horns. Literal spikes on the front of a car. Not a pointy bit on top of the hood. And breakaway bits or springs go a long way toward negating those.
Also, it is very much worth actually looking into the kinds of car regulations the US has. We have a LOT of stupid knee jerk regulation and laws that don’t actually make sense (and, in a lot of cases, make our cars more dangerous) but passed because only one “side” had lobbyists involved.
No, pay no mind to those deadly ornaments! I’m talking about the traditional ones! Those were great. The real problem is the stupid government catering to the anti-ornament lobby…
You’re arguing against a point I never made.
We don’t have hood ornaments anymore. Regulations in the US in 1968 eliminated traditional fixed hood ornaments - along with implementing all sorts of safety and economy standards - shortly after Johnson signed the Department of Transportation into existence. And that came shortly after Nader’s overwhelmingly popular book, Unsafe At Any Speed.
Later spring-loaded and breakaway hood ornaments fell by the wayside for style and aerodynamic reasons, but they were mostly gone anyway.
That’s what actually happened. Hood ornaments were, for all practical purposes, eliminated by safety regulations. Whether that specific, or other general, safety regulation is effective or the result of lobbying one way or another is not relevant to actual historical events.
Yes, there was (very limited…) legislation. But they were already on their way out in the 60s. And there were hood ornaments on rolls royces and even mercedes well into the 2010s.
If hood ornaments were really something people valued then we would still see the spring mounted or snap off variety. Hell, car manufacturerers would LOVE to sell a disposable status symbol. But they went out because, as you yourself even mention, “aerodynamic reasons” (which is also really questionable but…). Cars, especially in the 90s/00s, stopped being boxy messes and started being smooth and “sleek” and the hood ornament aesthetic was not part of that.
This is not a win for legislation or safety. If it were then we would actually see strong legislation against steel frames and putting those bumper bars on civilian vehicles.
They also just kinda look dated.
Also Rolls Royce, Bently, and Maybach still have them.
Exactly. And too many people steal them. They didn’t remove them for safety reasons. Idk what this guy’s smoking.
… in the US. In other countries, they can’t be bought and likely never will be.
Trauma bonding. (800) 799-7233
Bdesign thought that the cut was small, like a paper cut, until blood started spurting out from the wound. The Tesla inspectors who were there and even described that the vehicle “can be dangerous” panicked but helped.
Oh good, multiple witnesses.
…from Tesla.
Perjury it is.
I saw the original LAMF post. A detail missing here was that the inspectors were joking (that it could be dangerous) at first when they saw the cut because even they didn’t know how dangerous it was.
I was hoping they’d start adding a sort of rounded plastic shell to make it more aerodynamic and cover over the sharp edges, but if customers still like them after an injury there’s no incentive to dull the edges.
If enough non-customers are killed, they may have to do something, but idk what.
These are the sort of accidents you get when you mix a child-like worship of billionaires with cheap, sheet metal construction and a failure to grind down exposed sharp edges because there was no rule saying that the billionaire had to do it.
I’m sure he’ll justify it to himself immediately. He’s already sunk so much cost.
From the article, it kind of sounds like he regrets his choice already. And not just because he injured himself on it!
The Tesla inspectors who were there and even described that the vehicle “can be dangerous” panicked but helped.
No. This should never have been approved for sale. A consumer vehicle cannot be touted as “dangerous” by the customer representatives except as in ways accepted by all passenger vehicles. This isn’t a work vehicle with special licensing or training needed. This thing is so dangerous, shoddy and badly built it should never have received certification to be sold as a new car.
They were joking until the blood started to really pour.
The Tesla cybertruck is supposed to bond with you. The guy should have read the details. Now he’s going to be wondering about the central rounded spike on the seat which provides anal coupling and the neural interface needles on the headrest.
Damn, if the car’s body is full with sharp edges, what would happen if it hit a pedestrian? Instant decapitation?
The corners on the front of it look like they can easily cut out your kidneys on an impact
To be fair, any modern truck built for the US market will kill you on the spot, usually by squishing you like a bug against the grill. A Cybertruck is low enough that it will probably just chop off your legs, so you probably still die, but you can have a half open casket! 🎉
Probably, we shouldn’t have to wait long to find out just need the “full” self driving to malfunction.
Full self decapitation*
A few hours later, believing the bleeding to have subsided sufficiently, Bdesign unwrapped the bandage. This decision proved to be a miscalculation. “I unwrapped my wrist and BOOM - spurts of blood all over the kitchen island…,” he wrote, “which leaves me here, at the ER.”
lmfao, he really was looking for any excuse to not blame the car, huh?
i’ve seen two of these things around here. they’ve both been on the flatbed of a local towing service.
Nature is healing
Likely going in for the pedal recall to be completely fair.
Still wild that they managed to fuck that up by using glue and having the metal traction pad slide onto the pedal instead of latching or being crimped or screwed in.
They go through the trouble of having a second motor for the steer by wire in case of a failure, but they can’t make a pedal apparently.
A truck towing a “truck”.
Not that trucks deserve any respect. But at least real trucks like flatbeds have a purpose.
This vehicle is a rolling Poe’s law.
Drive the new Tesla Knifemobile. Made of pure space-grade stainless steel pressed into sharp edges, it’s the deadliest truck on the road. Wimps need not apply.
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts
Cayonero-o-o
Sorry, wrong SUV endorsed by a clown.
To paraphrase Idiocracy: Tesla. FUCK YOU, IM DRIVING
Finding new and exciting ways to make cars more dangerous. What an inovator.
