Speaking on my wife’s behalf, an epipen. We’re both content with not having needed to use it.
Probably 500+ bottles of expensive wine, more possibly even. Some of it was free, but most not, and it’s all crammed into a 2 bedroom apartment turning to vinegar because it’s improperly stored. Sometimes life circumstances mean you can’t drink much anymore. So it’s pretty much a waste and hugely embarrassing.
Never tie your finances to that of a crazy liar.
Never tie your finances to that of a crazy liar.
I’m invested and would like to read the rest of the story…
In a nutshell I married a person who has destroyed me financially a few times over, and I cannot leave because I don’t have the money. He’s sort of like a narcissist (like in that vein, not fully but definitely very mentally disturbed), and he decided to get into wine and buy massive quantities simply to make me angry and ruin my life out of spite, after he destroyed my mental health. We had storage space for it at the previous house but got evicted by a landlord who took it back for his family member, and now I live crammed into a two bedroom apartment with 78 boxes of wine that I seldom if ever drink. He ensures he gets everything he wants in life, even when I was down to owning 3 pairs of pants.
It’s incredibly sad and depressing and I can do virtually nothing about it but drag myself between both jobs, spending zero dollars save for my survey money, while he sits on the couch watching hockey 3 hours a night. I have no support and no way out but praying I somehow find time and a plan to make my own business and make enough money to dig out and find somewhere to hide from him.
If you have a red flag in a relationship, run. Not worth it.
I’m so sorry. Can you not sell some of the wine? Would he notice if it was a smaller collection? Just a reminder that financial abuse is abuse, control is abuse, there are shelters for people who are being abused which will get you out of that environment.
He notices if I so much as eat a bowl of cereal he thinks is his alone. Or forget to bring home the knife I took to work to eat lunch with. Or anything. You’ve never met someone so territorial. Once I left my bottle of work hand lotion on the kitchen table after a 16 hour shift and he threw it up the stairs and it burst everywhere, and when I had a screaming fit told me it was my fault for being inconsiderate.
Not kidding. And I can’t leave because I’d never let my dogs get hurt and they sure don’t let you take them to shelters. He’d haunt me to the ends of the earth anyway.
There are 100% shelters that let you take pets, there’s also organisations that foster pets for people escaping abuse.
The statement about haunting you to the end of the earth is a giant red flag. You need to get away. He’s dangerous.
This is abuse, leave. Take the dogs for a walk, go to a friend’s house and call a lawyer or the cops or a womens’ agency. Yes everything will be shit for awhile, get a restraining order and file for legal relief from the debt, you may even be able to sue him for relief of the debt, and if he used your credit without your ok, that is fraud and also illegal.
I know you feel you don’t have the mental strength to leave but if you can survive staying, you definitely do have the strength.
I have nobody to go to is the problem.
My gf had been in sort of a similar situation. You need to get out. At all costs. Even if you have to leave the dogs.
He will just do whatever he needs to do to keep you desperate and on his leash. So no matter what you do, he won’t met you save money, he won’t give you a chance to get away ever.
The controlling behavior servers to keep you there at his disposal.
He is not going to change. You will have too. So get of your ass and leave. It’s the only chance you have for a real life again. If you don’t, you basically submit and accept that this will be your life forever.
I know that things may seem hopeless, but the situation you are in is affecting the way you think. You can get away, you can have a normal life but you have to decide that it is over and commit to getting away.
I literally have no money and mountains of debt thanks to him. Rent in my city is 2K which I absolutely cannot afford by myself. I don’t know what you think makes me able to do any of this, I really cannot.
Well, it’s only going to get worse. Go to a shelter. There are resources to help with debt, sometimes government programs.
If you stay you’re just digging the hole deeper. Every day you stay you are making it harder for yourself to leave. I know it is difficult.
You’re in a very very shitty situation. But out of all the choices you have available to you, staying is worst one you could possibly pick.
Do you have any friends or family that you can ask for help?
In the end it is your choice to stay or go. But make sure it is an actual choice and not just submitting because you don’t see a way out.
If you go to a shelter or the cops they might be able to at least explain to you what options you have. Perhaps there are numbers you could call for domestic abuse victims?
It is very important that you take action or things will only get worse. And I cannot imagine you want to struggle the rest of your life while he keeps draining you of all your money.
i believe you can do this if you choose and when you’re ready. i won’t lie - it’s not easy, but you may decide if is easier than staying. the dv hotline can direct you to local services, including housing. be careful if you begin to explore your options; he may escalate.
(800) 799-7233. if you can safely search, they also have text and chat contact online.
Thanks for sharing. Hop you find a way out of that terrible situation.
There are ways out. Find a women’s shelter. Just go.
Some of that can sell at auction, I work on a house where the lady inherited about $300,000 of wine.
I would be hanging from a lamppost somewhere if I tried it.
I got a pretty nice Yamaha bluray player that was an appropriate match to my home theatre amp.
Put a bluray in it, got a piracy warning, a few unskippable ads for other movies, an obnoxious excessively drawn out animated menu screen that stuttered like hell and was laggy to use.
Pulled the bluray back out of it, stuck it back in the DVD drawer and proceeded to download a copy of the movie to watch. Been doing that ever since.
Wanted to re-watched something I couldn’t find on torrents in good quality, so I bought a cheap Blu-ray player and holy shit it was painful.
I’d forgotten how annoying all the warnings and menus were; JUST PLAY THE BLOODY SHOW!
As great as just playing the show is, I actually really like DVD/Blu-ray menus because of the little extras you get on some of them. It makes the disk feel more special compared to straight up video files on a storage device. The warnings can be a little annoying, but otherwise I don’t mind as much.
Also, I’m lucky enough to have yet to find a DVD/Blu-ray that stutters or has audio glitches on the Vizio Blu-ray player I got at a thrift store, so I’m lucky.
The deleted scenes and commentary audio tracks were cool, but idk if I’d actually watch any of it now. I heard years ago that there’s a whole system for “MST3King” a movie manually with community commentary tracks that effectively do the same thing and I’ve never cared enough to figure out how to set it up and try one, so I don’t know if I’d ever actually watch a DVD commentary even if I had the option.
Maybe it would be cool for Taskmaster, since I’ve seen every episode so many times and continue to rewatch it? But I rarely re-watch anything anymore. And I don’t think TV shows got commentary tracks anyway.
And deleted scenes could probably just be found on YouTube, I assume? I don’t know because I haven’t cared enough to search, lol.
I haven’t watched the extra content in years, just don’t care, Matrix was probably the last time I watched that stuff.
Sony really knows how to fuck up an experience and shove their own consumer around
Sell it, dude
First edition, first run of the three Lord of the Rings books.
I can’t bring myself to open them up and mess with the pages.
I mean, yeah. The point of collectibles like that is in owning the thing, not using the thing. Read the ebook instead.
Or the BBC radio play, which is the best version of LotR ever, including the original books and films, and I’ll die on that hill.
But you bought a reading copy as well, right?
Right?
I have one, but it’s not the same as the original.
I have posted pictures of the books for people who want to see the original maps included in the books.
The duality of book owning.
A pool. It came with the house, but damn is it expensive to maintain. I say I’ve never gotten full use out of it because I spend way more time and energy maintaining it, than I do using it.
Our house used to have a hot tub and still has the concrete pad, electrical hookup, and other equipment necessary to run the hot tub. I have never been interested in maintaining it. Can’t even do naked hot tubbing because the neighbor’s house looks right over the hot tub pad.
Why not invest in a canopy?
This was my criteria for buying a house : no pool !
Smart man. My wife convinced me to get it swearing she would take care of it. Apparently her idea of taking care of it was to hire someone for $350 a month. And that price didn’t include the chemicals.
On the other hand I did took care of a pool for a while, it was in a villa that my in laws owned.
We did a few things that helped lowering the maintenance cost and the pool was pristine.
First thing is a salt chlorinator. It keeps a constant (low) chlorine level so the pool stays clean, there is no more chlorine smell and you only need to top up salt after too much rain.
Then we were using hardware store muriatic acid to bring the pH up and baking soda to control alkalinity. We still went to the pool store to get productd for the calcium hardness and cyanuric acid.
The last thing is a bit more involved but this is what made the biggest difference on the bill is to replace the pump with a DC pump directly connected to refurbished solar panels, no batteries, no inverter. This way when there is a lot of sun the pump is running a lot, a little sun and the pump is running a little.
It’s perfect since the amount of algae development is proportional to the amount of sunlight. There is almost no electronic in the system, just a extremely reliable DC pump and solar panels that can last for decades, I found that to be a great low-tech solution.
However we were in a tropical country, I have no idea if this would apply in another climate.
Rent it out for parties like Airbnb for pools and you can recoup the cost.
I believe there was someone on Shark Tank trying to get funding for an app to let people do that. If I remember correctly he did not get funded.
I would also assume there are some legal obligations with that. Like having to have lifeguards or other safety measures a public pool is required, that a house would not have.
Plus people are gross. I’m sure this would only increase the amount of cleaning I would need to do.
Sounds like you need to invest in fixing it up. Big short term cost vs death by a thousand cuts
It’s not really that it needs to be fixed up. The chemicals and supplies are outrageously overpriced. Then there always seems to be some major issue every year or two. I’ve lived in the house for 7 years and have had to replace the control board and the pump. I had to replace $2,500 worth of piping after Texas cut my power for 3 days during freezing temperatures. Then last summer it was so hot the ground shifted and it broke two return lines that had to be repaired through the concrete deck. And I know by next year it will be due for resurfacing.
A pair of traditional leather boots that were stiff and sturdy enough to support me through anything and last long enough to be buy it for life. The pair weighed over 5 pounds. After 6 months they still hurt after a hike and I gave up breaking them in. Cost me over 300€, and I replaced them with a pair of 80€ trail running shoes which were better in every way for my use case and also lasted 12 years.
You should’ve wet them completely, preferably while wearing and stretching them.
But that can be a real pain, yeah.
https://drewsboots.com/blogs/news/how-to-break-in-leather-boots
Had to do it a few times while in the army.
I did. The problem was, they weren’t too tight but too wide at the heel, so my heel kept rubbing up and down in them.
If you have a proper shoemaker around you: They usually can fix this problem easily.
The problem is to find an proper shoemaker these days.
Oh, that’s unfortunate.
The blisters one will get with that is crazy. Especially if you’re in the army and can’t stop willynilly.
I once marched 12km with bleeding blisters the sizes of small apples and had gone through all the skin layers because if I had stopped I would’ve had to stay during the weekend to do it again.
My 6-foot-tall telescope. I should really pull it out more, I just get so busy.
I have a college degree I have never used. It wasn’t cheap even tho much of it was paid with grants.
Art?
Nah, gotta be music/sound related
Bachelor of Science! Recreation related.
3d printer
As someone who has been in the 3d printing space for awhile, I am amazed at how cheap and featured the entry level printers are. For ~$150 you can get a printer with auto bed leveling and a magnetic bed. At $15/lb of filament, you only need a few projects to pay for itself.
For example, I printed the housing for a USB hub for a friend which is a clone for a ridiculously expensive one that fits Lovesac couches and he paid me $50. It cost ~$2 of filament and ended up printing a few more for others. That alone paid for the cost of the printer.
For anyone who is thinking about it, now is a great time to enter the hobby.
Which cad software do you use? I’ve been jumping from blender, openscad, and freecad
Depending on the complexity of the part either Fusion 360, Tinkercad, or even just 3d Builder. I usually can find something close already existing and just modify that.
Disclaimer - for people who aren’t from the developing countries. 150$ is not cheap by any means.
Get to it! Such a fun hobby
I have promised it to my brother as its a resin printer and he paints warhammer
not much use. mostly to rarely print a few bits and pieces when i need a repair or something very specific for a project.
My house. There has never been a point in time where there was not at least one room unusable due to ongoing renovation.
How do you keep having renovations? How do you even sustain that?
Bought a fixer-upper and my wife is a lot more aggressive about starting projects than she is about finishing them.
I bought some kit for running TTRPGs just before COVID hit: wet erase markers, Chessex mat, extra dice bags, DM screen, and some cheap minis. Then when COVID hit I adopted a Virtual tabletop (Foundry). Over the course of the pandemic, my gaming group evolved to include people from all over the province, and so now there’s not really any hope of playing an in-person session. Not to mention I switched to playing PF2E, which is really hard to run in-person because of how much crunchier it is. So now I have this stuff and don’t really know when I will get to use it.
An ecoflow battery generator. Granted, it’s a small-ish one but I got this itch to purchase one after seeing one in action while car camping (“I can use my hot water kettle while camping, how cool!”) and when our city was warning us about widespread power outages from an upcoming winter storm (“to keep our devices powered up”).
My Switch. Just lost interest after playing a few games
Sell it and buy a steam deck. I’m over 40. The deck made me like gaming again. So many fun games and immediately being able to sleep the system while in a game and then waking it back up to be right where I left off is a huge benefit to me.
The terrible state of online play ruined everything nintendo for me.
I’ve just built a $1200 PC and I’m pretty sure I don’t really use the fraction of its power.
At least that means you’ll be able to use it for a long time. Also, it won’t ever overheat so it’s not very likely to break down.
I bought an $800 half stack guitar amplifier in 2009 and rarely play with the volume above 1, let alone play shows with it. But it looks neat.
