• hypnotoad@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    82
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    edit-2
    15 days ago

    No friends, for the rest of their fucking lives. I hope 50 grand was worth your fucking soul. Bootlicker extreme

    • Garibaldee@lemm.eeOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      41
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      15 days ago

      I do wonder if they wanted to be caught on some level chilling in a McDonalds on a laptop with a ghost gun in their backpack and a similar outfit, but more info will probably come out.

      • PineRune@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        28
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        15 days ago

        If he wanted to be caught, it’s possible he made an anonymous tip on himself and the workers caught the blame. Just a thought.

        • Garibaldee@lemm.eeOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          13
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          15 days ago

          Yeah I mean if this is the person and they were an Ivy league educated tech worker with no background in violence/war, one might feel pretty guilty and out of sorts after killing someone regardless whether that person deserved it or not, many things are possible

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    39
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    15 days ago

    This isn’t even humor at this point. I’m legitimately starting to think The Onion is in the midst of transitional changes to becoming a legitimate news outlet that just reports news.

    Like this one doesn’t even seem absurd or funny. It just seems like the logical reaction people will have. This just comes off as a legit news report on an aburd situation. Rather than an absurd mocking news report on a realistically fake situatuation.

    • Zagorath@aussie.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      45
      ·
      15 days ago

      The joke here is a little more subtle. It’s that this particular Maccas was already 1 star, so these reviews aren’t actually hurting it. The reviews are just changing the reason given for being 1 star.

    • Garibaldee@lemm.eeOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      edit-2
      15 days ago

      This isn’t even the onion if you look at the link

      and from the description of this community

      A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    29
    ·
    15 days ago

    On NPR… “The real hero…” Fuck you McDonald’s asshole! Let us known when you realize how stupid your decision was.

  • style99@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    15 days ago

    I would seriously never speak to someone again if I learned they were on a jury that convicted Luigi.

  • bradorsomething@ttrpg.network
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    23
    ·
    15 days ago

    This is an orgy of evidence, and feels like an arrest stemming from some illegal surveillance or intel means, a pretend phone call, and planted evidence.

    It feels so much like when the allies would crack japanese codes and send a patrol plane to find a target, and make an excuse to go for the kill.

  • Sergio@slrpnk.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    19
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    15 days ago

    Maybe they’ll use the 50k to escape Altoona and move to a country with better health care.

  • houstoneulers@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    14 days ago

    Honestly, if Luigi gets convicted by a jury of his own peers, it will just further prove that the ultra wicked never get their come uppance while the working class always do. That is some bullshit. Also, fuck that mcdonalds employee.

  • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    arrow-down
    9
    ·
    edit-2
    14 days ago

    The constant search for who to demonize is the never-ending mission of social justice keyboard warriors.

    To seek out new perps and new complicit ones.

    To boldly blame those no one has blamed before.